chieftain Beckinthwaite 's Bride.

I 'm Captain Thomas bloody Beckinthwaite, from bloody Yorkshire and I do n't give a sodomite what you bloody think because I bloody speak as I bloody find.

We had a flaming bad trip back from U.S. on Steamship and when we got back to Liverpool I made for certain me establishment were safe and went to see bloody federal agent first thing.

I went in his office.It stunk like a working girl boudoir with furnishings to match. broker were a Slimy dickhead with slicked down hair and poncy cause. He sat behind this over polished bloody oakwood blooming desk about the size of a bloody cricket wicket the useless bastard.

"Good day senior pilot, I am delighted to meet you at last,"he simpered wi'out standing up.

"No thee bloody ent,"I said,"Thee jus wants me brass,"I answered him,"I'm from bloody Yorksire and I speaks me bloody mind,"I explained to the nescient Lancashire twat.

"Er, yes, the brass,"he said awkwardly.

"Ton and a one-half of it,"I said,"Dubloons, pieces of eight, that sort of brass."

"We thought you have in mind Brass,"his supporter chipped in. She was like a poor haired Gorilla gorilla in a black dress with a gob like a English bulldog chewing a wasp.

"plaque, Money,"I said,"Bloody wide-eyed enough even for you bloody unlettered Lanky buggers ent it ?"

"Brass is an alloy of Copper and Tin,"she ventured.

"Clever cunt eh, need to be with a gob like yours,"I advised, `` Ent going to get far wi your bloody looks and that 's a bloody fact ..

"How often were you asking ?"the slimy one asked.

I told him, showed him chit for it.

"Yes we will pay the asking toll,"the slimy bastard said rooking me,"The cheque please Miss Rathbone."and they give me it and it were done.

I nipped polish up money box and paid it in fast. Daft bastard on retort near fainted at size of cheque but I drew out a clean few quid and went about me business.

fifteen bloody daytime voyage took, bloody steamship broke down on the way but at last I had some organization in bank and could amount home instead of scratting round down S United States way meking a bob or two here an there.

I went to see haven passkey what were a mate of mine, we had a confab for a few minutes then I asked"Where's slave market, I fancies a nice plump impertinent Brown University one."

"By heck you been away a bloody while,"he said,"Thee casn't have slaves in England any more."

"You what ?"I demanded.

"Nay,"He said,"They banned slave'ry back in thirty three and anyroad nobs got fed up wi novelty an let well-nigh of ‘ em go free."

"Bloody heck,"I said,"Where the bloody perdition do I find a nice plump virgin for tonight ?"

"Tonight, Thee'll be bloody lucky to find out one in Salford at all, thee'll have to espouse a nob lad !"he laughed.

I had a think. Go without, peril fancy woman planetary house or hook up with a nob. Marrying a nob seemed upright idea.

I had a think and thought nobs hung out at Queens Hotel so that's where I went, they had dinner party card exterior. and it were just after noonday so I thought I would consume a bit to eat. Now I ent thick or nowt but I couldn't make mind or tush o fare so I thought I woud ask waiter. Turns out they has dinner at tea time and high noon sentence was lunch. Anyroad I had a feed.

manager come up to me and asked me business,"looking for for a nob to conjoin,"I said,"Posh bint like, got to be unadulterated mind."

He got haywire end of reefer and suggested a couple of woman of the street houses.

"Nay I want a woman for keeps see, If I pay out a evenhandedly bit and keeps her bloody chained up I have a nasset see, not restrain forking out for prostitute till I gets blinking clap and me cock decomposition off."

"You can't keep slave anymore, but there's a gent rung Inkerman Street does a smashing range of chastity belts,"he suggested,"Actually, tween thee and me, that overlord wi his back to us over there's got more than daughters than you can shake a control stick at, why not make him an offer ?"

I looked, some poncy old codger talking to his mates over a sliver of fish and drop-off o wine-colored that woudn't sustain a blinking church service mouse.

"That's handy,"I said giving him a big tip and I sauntered across.

"I hear you got a couple of daughters to offload like ?"I says straight out.

"And who the hell are you sir ?"he snapped as he stood to face me,"Have you no decorum."

"What's bloody decorum,"I says,"I ent no house Felis concolor I'm bloody Captain bloody Beckinthwaite from bloody Yorkshire and I speaks me bloody mind."

His poncy nob mates was pissing they selves laughing at me,"tone if its bloody brass you want I'll pay top one dollar bill, long as she's virgin, two branch, two arms, brace of bloody tits, her own teeth, hearing and seeing would be a bonus but long as she can perform in bloody bed I ent that bloody fussed."

"I say George VI,"one of his mates, a simpering prat dressed like a right ponce says,"You might well hook up with off your Emily if you play your cards right."

"I ent playing no bloody wag,"I said,"Hard John Cash, I knows too many damn scorecard sharps."

"I have never been so insulted sir,"he says, but his first mate grabbed his arm.

"George VI, think, he'll pay,"this fella said,"Instead of a demanding a dowry he'll pay you, you know you need the wonga.

"Ah,"he said,"I understand you now, why not come to my sign directly and run across my daughters ?"

His poncy teammate warned him not to seem too keen but as soon as I said I'd pay their tab he agreed.

The bloke lived a mile or so from hotel, so we hailed a cab. His berth needed a lick of paint and the Samuel Butler's jacket had seen better days.

"Shall I show the, er, gentleman, to the servants quarters,"bloody sarky Butler smirked.

"No he is a guest, Mr '' the chap explained

"senior pilot Beckintwaite,"I said,"I'm from bloody Yorkshire and address me all-fired mind. Know thee's bloody place or thee'll find me bloody belt cross thee bloody ass."

"I beg your free pardon,"he said all sarky like,"Sir."

Bloody adult female turns up,"By heck you're an ugly bitch,"I says,"Bob Hope you ent his bloody daughter, thee'd have to pay me to poke thee."

"This is my wife Captain,"bloke says,"Lady McGonnegal."

"No offence like,"I says as she belts me lash out the chops, we her kickshaw hired hand and half inch long finger nails."Feisty piece ent she ?"

"police captain Beckinthwaite wishing to court one of our daughter high-priced,"the bloke says, I sort of guessed he was overlord McGonnegal, Lord Mc for short.

"Over my dead body,"Lady Mc retorted. I drew me dagger.

"Come now we are all friend here,"Lord Mc pleaded as his face went a deathlike Caucasian,"maitre d' Beckinthwaite has just returned from a very profitabe dangerous undertaking in the Americas."

"Bloody nightmare,"I said,"Storms, Tempest, bloody feed H2O pump bloody arbor bloody secreter bloody blew and I haven't had a flaming shag in weeks."

"Capain please,"Lady Mc insisted.

"I had a blooming gut full on't it, crashing Shipping lark."I said,"Brass is in bloody minelaying that's what I reckon, high bloody time to bloody settle down."

"And you seek to motor hotel my daughters ?"madam Mc asked.

"Bloody shag em more bloody like,"I said,"Don't creative thinker bloody paying,"I says,"Just as long as I gets her to me self, don't want no filthy bloody butlers poking on her like thee and he does soon as bloody lordships'back 's turned."

Butler blushed near as red as her Ladyship did, I reckoned I had hit bloody nail on't bloody head, I also reckoned Lord Mc were in on't as well.

madam Mc knew when to keep stum so she showed us into parlour."fille,"she says,"ejaculate and run across maitre d' er, what is your gens ?"

"Beckinthwaite,"I says,"From Yorkshire."

The first base girl were knockout, blonde pilus on her articulatio humeri, blue oculus, square rigged wearing apparel showcasing her tits, out of my league, probably been rogered by half the handmaiden, anyroad her scowled at me.

"This is Philomena my indorse eldest,"Lady Mc explained.

"So who is Mr Beckinthwaite ?"the girl asked.

"Bloody rich and in pauperism of a bloody ass,"I said,"I'm Yorkshire bloody Born and bred and I speaks me bloody mind and you're a dish and no mistake."

"I speak my mind too sir and you sir are entirely repugnant,"she explained.

Another vision of lovliness followed into the room,"Victoria,"Lady Mc explained,"And my eldest Francis."

Bloody hell, her were no oil painting, well if her was it were by a bloody kid wi a blooming holdover. Wi her brusque hair and scowling look if it had n't been for her tits you 'd consume thought she were a all-fired fellow

"Reet Francis, hedging your bloody wager were you ?"I asked.

"How so ?"gentlewoman Mc asked.

"Couldn't Tell if it were a bloody fellow or a bloody girlfriend eh, I seen prettier bloody cabin boys, baboons even,"I laughed.

"commodity then we are in accord chieftain,"Francis snapped,"You are equally revolting, is that an Albatross nestle in your beard ?"

"Bet bloody suer are a bit slight on bloody ground,"I laughed. She actually looked hurt.

"I have no interest in such thing,"she said.

I thought a bit crashing quick, skilful prospect her were a bloody Virgin, if I blew bally candle out it wouldn't matter what her bloody face looked like.

"well I reckon you might be just what I'm bloody after. I ent fussed about bloody looks all I want's is me bloody end away,"I said,"Just as bloody long as you 're a flaming Virgo the Virgin I ‘ ll shag thee and and wed thee and I can't say fairer than that."

"Captain !"Lord Mc protested.

"quint hundred,"I offered,"guinea fowl, to contain her off thi bloody bridge player and put a ring on her bloody finger, film it or allow it."

"We really ask the money,"peeress Mc confessed.

"And you expect me to lay with this devil for money ?"Francis demanded.

"I want's a bally wife lass, not just a bally tart to shag, soul to look after me bloody theatre, cook, clean look after bloody Kid, that sort o thing."I ventured.

"No pretence of love or affection then ?"she asked.

"No, Bloody bollocks is that, fucking affection, I just wants a bloody fucking, you wo n't do improve than that I shan't bloody offer again."I said.

"Good,"she said,"Then I won't need to say no again, the answer captain is no, never."She stormed away in a bloody strop.

"Feisty piece ent her ?"I queried,"I got the hard currency,"I said,"If thee cerebration I were fucking messing."

Maker Mc's eyes bulged as I showed a air hole full of gold.

"Take a glass of wine-coloured Captain,"he said,"Perhaps."

"Oh no, no way,"the other girl insisted and they too rushed away.

"Let her cool it down a moment,"Lord Mc suggested,"I have a decent Madera wine."

"Go on then, I'll have a all-fired pint."I said. He gave me about enough to drown a bloody mouse, tight fisted sod.

He had his missus go and variety Francis out.

I heard a rumpus,"Get off me !"I heard the missy protest,"full stop it, stop it mother I woukd rather die than marry that frightening man."

"Whats bloody on ?"I asked,"I offered a evenhandedly blooming price, what's wrong wi her."

I stood up and went where the miss went, following the sound up the stairs me hobnail boots clattering on wise polished oak flooring, till I got to her bed room.

The mother were there with two chamber maids and the housekeeper. Poor Francis had her attire off and looked like she been whacked across nerve with a stagnant Melanogrammus aeglefinus. Stunned she were.

All she had on were her stays and knee duration stockings, no pants or nothing but showing her privates and nice creamy thighs.

The mothern and housekeeper grabbed Francis and spread her ramification astray,"Take a look Captain,"madam Mc invited with a smirk.

"Get off her you damn bully, bugger off,"I snapped,"I don't her maulered about by the like of you. Go on. Get out."

"But headwaiter,"Lady Mc replied but the glint of light off me dagger blade soon changed her bloody tune,"leave of absence them, get out, get out."

"Are you about to mangle me maitre d'hotel ?"Francis asked.

I kicked the threshold shut and bolted it.

"No, I'd kill your bloody mother if I was you,"I said as I approached the bed,"Don't fret lass, I never had to force a bloody wench to get laid me in me bloody life."

She sat on the edge of the bed and covered her private parts as I approached.

I knelt down bfore her and gently pulled her hand away. She shuddered. I gave her a minute.

"Don't Greek fret, I'll not hurt thee."I promised and then first I ran me fingers gently up her second joint and then I started to percentage her twat lips with me fingers. It weren't the first clip. Her cunt was well used.

"look like you been bloody shagging already ?"I announced

"Oh no, of course not,"she insisted,"How can you say such a matter ?"

"well your bloody maidenhead ‘ s long gone,"I observed,"If thee ent had a bloody bloke I suppose thee's been fucking thee's sen wi a bloody candela then has tha ? Like I caught me bloody sister doing a time or two ?"

"How did you know ?"she demanded.

"I weren't born bloody yesterday,"I explained as I undid me big pirates belt and let me trews pin,"Lets call it our little bloody cloak-and-dagger shall us ?

"expression police captain,"she protested but me finger were no flaming strangers to a wench's puss and wi me thumb on her short nub her tits were getting nice and pointy.

She started breathing backbreaking

"Bloody fortnight wi out a ass,"I explained,"Can't expect me to stop now lass."I kicked me trews off me boots.

"But maitre d',"she protested.

I weren't born yesterday, no practiced ramming me cock at her, I had to be suttle.

I leaned forward and kissed her neck, her weren't expecting it, so I kissed me way down across her tits and on down to her mound. She sort of wriggled. and gasped. I slid back a bit and kissed me way up her second joint boulder clay I got me tongue in the groove between her backtalk down there.

"Nooo,"she said but I was not to be denied. Her pussy was getting really moist now so I decided it were now or bloody never and I stood up before aiming me self at her cunt.

"What's it to be lass, will thee blinking require me ?"I asked me knob straining like a bloody Mizzen mast in me hand.

Her eyes were wish saucer, she said nowt but grasped me boss and helped me aim it in her. I pressed a bit and me bloody knob end just shot up her soppin'wet bloody bitch like an Anchor up a hawse pipe.It were bloody heaven. Right in till me balls were banging on her genitalia,"What the bloody hell size bloody cd youm been using ?"I asked.

"Oooh maitre d',"she simpered,"That's so, ah,"

"Big ?"I asked."See being blooming fucked ent so bloody bad is it ?"

"Like a big warm supple candle, Surprisingly pleasant,"she agreed,

"So what's it to be lass."I asked,"Wed me or tek brass for the bloody fuck. Once I shot me bloody load in thee its for bloody aliveness like, if thee can't stomach it say now and I'll shoot me flaming load over thee belly and say no to a greater extent about it."

"And the money ?"she asked.

"Fifty guineas,"I said,"Not bad for shooting me bloody lading over thi bloody belly ?"

"Thank you kindly captain, but shoot away sir,"she insisted,"For I fear you can not restrain yourself and I believe you have a kind pith under that blunt Yorkshire exterior."

"Thee want's me to take a window pane of hot spunk up thee then, does thee ?"I asked.

She nodded,"Indeed I do,"she muttered,"So do your worst Captain."

Me egg was damn crinkling and me cock was blooming throbbing and suddenly it were too late for bloody pullin'out and she was well fucked with me juice pumping in her like a pint of Newton and Ridley pumping from beer tap.

"How was that then lass ?"I asked when I recovered a bit.

"Surprisingly pleasant Captain,"she chuckled,"Next time perhaps you will bath first so it is less like being ravished by a unwarranted boar."

"Bathe be buggered, I fell in bloody Mersey yesterday,"I explained as I pulled out of her,"Suck me bloody cock strong I want's t'fuck thee again. ``

"Only when you have asked me to wed you,"she laughed

"I already did,"I reminded her.

"I think not,"she replied,"But you may suck my nipple if it help rouse youl."And with that she pylled her tits right out of her corset and ordered,"Off with your shirt I wish to feel your manly pectus against mine."

"You ent got a manly bureau,"I laughed,"Quite the bloody opposite,"and I pulled my shirt and enthrone off and held her close. Our mouths met, our natural language entwined. It do n't weigh much what they bloody look like wi your tongue in their gob, so me cock reared and before I knew it we was damn fucking again. Bloody bint was insatiable.

We gave it an time of day or so before we went back downstairs. God Almighty and Lady Mc was waiting.

"We're getting wed,"I explained,"If you're concordant like ?"

"Absolutely old fellow, congratulations,"Lord Mc chorted,"Let us get the meshing announced in Lancashire evening post.

"Bugger that I'm a damn sea senior pilot, '' I exlained,"We can nip down bloody harbor and I can do bloody marriage, no bloody pauperism to ware damn governing body on bloody vicars. In fact we can bloody do it now."

Anyway her wanted her day in church so we're getting wed official like, and do you have it away after we fucked a time or two her started bloody smiling at me and her expression quite bloody comely if you squints a bit when the brightness behind her. But at end of bloody day its what they fucks like what matters and she's crashing genius and no bally mistake even if she is from bloody Lancashire .