Captain Beckinthwaite 's Bride.

I 'm Captain Dylan Marlais Thomas bloody Beckinthwaite, from bloody Yorkshire and I do n't feed a bugger what you bloody mean because I bloody speak as I bloody regain.

We had a blooming bad head trip back from U.S. on Steamship and when we got back to Liverpool I made surely me brass were rubber and went to see bloody factor first thing.

I went in his office.It stunk like a bawd boudoir with furnishing to twin. agentive role were a Slimy bastard with slicked down hair and poncy suit of clothes. He sat behind this over polished bloody oakwood bloody desk about the sizing of a bally cricket wicket the useless bastard.

"commodity day Captain, I am delighted to meet you at end,"he simpered wi'out standing up.

"No thee bloody ent,"I said,"Thee jus wants me establishment,"I answered him,"I'm from bloody Yorksire and I speaks me damn mind,"I explained to the ignorant Lancashire twat.

"Er, yes, the brass,"he said awkwardly.

"Ton and a half of it,"I said,"Dubloons, pieces of eight, that sort of brass."

"We thought you imply boldness,"his assistant chipped in. She was like a short haired Gorilla gorilla in a black dress with a gob like a bulldog chewing a wasp.

"organization, Money,"I said,"Bloody simple enough even for you bloody unknowledgeable Lanky buggers ent it ?"

"Brass is an alloy of copper color and Tin,"she ventured.

"Clever beef eh, need to be with a gob like yours,"I advised, `` Ent going to get far wi your bloody looks and that 's a bloody fact ..

"How much were you asking ?"the slimy one asked.

I told him, showed him chit for it.

"Yes we will pay the asking cost,"the slimy bastard said rooking me,"The cheque please young lady Rathbone."and they give me it and it were done.

I nipped round money box and paid it in ready. Daft whoreson on sideboard near fainted at sizing of cheque but I drew out a fair few cud and went about me business.

XV bloody days voyage took, bloody steamship broke down on the way but at last I had some brass in banking concern and could occur home instead of scratting round down Confederate States America way meking a bob or two here an there.

I went to see harbor master what were a mate of mine, we had a chat for a few minute of arc then I asked"Where's slave market, I fancies a nice plump fresh brownness one."

"By heck you been away a bloody while,"he said,"Thee casn't have slave in England any more."

"You what ?"I demanded.

"Nay,"He said,"They banned slave'ry back in thirty three and anyroad nobs got fed up wi novelty an let about of ‘ em go free."

"Bloody heck,"I said,"Where the bloody hell do I find a nice plump Virgin for tonight ?"

"Tonight, Thee'll be bloody lucky to find one in Salford at all, thee'll have to marry a nob lad !"he laughed.

I had a think. Go without, risk prostitute house or marry a nob. Marrying a nob seemed full idea.

I had a think and thought nobs hung out at queen Hotel so that's where I went, they had dinner Menu exterior. and it were just after noon so I thought I would suffer a bite to eat. Now I ent slurred or nowt but I couldn't make head or poop o menu so I thought I woud ask waiter. Turns out they has dinner at tea clock time and noontide time was tiffin. Anyroad I had a feed.

coach come up to me and asked me business,"Looking for a nob to espouse,"I said,"Posh bint like, got to be pure mind."

He got incorrectly end of stick and suggested a dyad of whore theatre.

"Nay I want a woman for keeps see, If I pay out a clean bit and keeps her bloody chained up I have a nasset see, not keep forking out for tarts till I gets bally clap and me cock decomposition off."

"You can't keep hard worker anymore, but there's a fellow rung Inkerman Street does a smashing range of sexual abstention knock,"he suggested,"Actually, tween thee and me, that Creator wi his back to us over there's got more daughters than you can shake a pin at, why not establish him an offering ?"

I looked, some poncy old codger talking to his mates over a sliver of Pisces and drop o wine that woudn't sustain a damn church mouse.

"That's handy,"I said giving him a big tip and I sauntered across.

"I hear you got a couple of daughters to offload like ?"I says heterosexual out.

"And who the hell are you sir ?"he snapped as he stood to look me,"Have you no decorum."

"What's blooming decorum,"I says,"I ent no house catamount I'm bloody Captain bloody Beckinthwaite from bloody Yorkshire and I speaks me bloody mind."

His poncy nob mates was pissing they selves laughing at me,"looking at if its bloody cheek you want I'll pay top one dollar bill, long as she's Virgo, two pegleg, two munition, duad of bloody tits, her own tooth, hearing and seeing would be a bonus but long as she can execute in bloody bed I ent that bloody fussed."

"I say George III,"one of his married person, a simpering prat dressed like a right panderer says,"You might well marry off your Emily if you play your cards right."

"I ent playing no bloody board,"I said,"Hard John Cash, I knows too many crashing wag sharps."

"I have never been so affront sir,"he says, but his fellow grabbed his arm.

"George I, think, he'll pay,"this chap said,"Instead of a demanding a dowry he'll pay you, you know you need the wonga.

"Ah,"he said,"I understand you now, why not come to my business firm directly and conform to my girl ?"

His poncy match warned him not to seem too cracking but as soon as I said I'd pay their tab he agreed.

The gent lived a mile or so from hotel, so we hailed a cab. His place needed a lick of pigment and the pantryman's cap had seen better days.

"Shall I show the, er, Gentleman, to the servant fourth,"bloody sarky Butler smirked.

"No he is a Edgar Albert Guest, Mr '' the bloke explained

"Captain Beckintwaite,"I said,"I'm from bloody Yorkshire and talk me blooming creative thinker. Know thee's bloody place or thee'll feel me crashing belt cross thee bloody ass."

"I beg your pardon,"he said all sarky like,"Sir."

Bloody woman turns up,"By heck you're an surly bitch,"I says,"Bob Hope you ent his bloody daughter, thee'd have to pay me to pry thee."

"This is my wife headwaiter,"bloke says,"dame McGonnegal."

"No offence like,"I says as she belts me assail the chops, we her dainty hand and one-half inch long finger nails."Feisty piece ent she ?"

"senior pilot Beckinthwaite wishes to court one of our daughters darling,"the feller says, I sort of guessed he was Godhead McGonnegal, Lord Mc for short.

"Over my dead body,"Lady Mc retorted. I drew me dagger.

"ejaculate now we are all friend here,"overlord Mc pleaded as his face went a deathly white,"Captain Beckinthwaite has just returned from a very profitabe adventure in the Americas."

"Bloody nightmare,"I said,"Storms, Tempest, bloody feed in piss ticker bloody spike bloody gland bloody blew and I haven't had a bally nookie in weeks."

"Capain please,"Lady Mc insisted.

"I had a bloody gut full on't it, bloody Shipping lark."I said,"Brass is in bloody mining that's what I reckon, high bloody sentence to bloody square off down."

"And you seek to courtyard my daughter ?"Lady Mc asked.

"Bloody shag em more flaming like,"I said,"Don't mind bloody paying,"I says,"Just as long as I gets her to me self, don't want no nasty bloody butler poking on her like thee and he does soon as bloody lordships'vertebral column 's turned."

Samuel Butler blushed near as red as her Ladyship did, I reckoned I had hit flaming nail on't bloody oral sex, I also reckoned Maker Mc were in on't as well.

Lady Mc knew when to continue stum so she showed us into sitting room."girlfriend,"she says,"Come and meet Captain er, what is your name ?"

"Beckinthwaite,"I says,"From Yorkshire."

The first base miss were knockout, blonde hair on her shoulders, blue middle, foursquare rigged dress showcasing her tits, out of my conference, probably been rogered by half the handmaiden, anyroad her scowled at me.

"This is Philomena my second eldest,"Lady Mc explained.

"So who is Mr Beckinthwaite ?"the fille asked.

"Bloody copious and in need of a damn screwing,"I said,"I'm Yorkshire bloody born and bred and I speaks me bloody mind and you're a knockout and no mistake."

"I speak my judgement too sir and you sir are entirely hideous,"she explained.

Another vision of lovliness followed into the room,"Victoria,"Lady Mc explained,"And my firstborn Francis."

Bloody the pits, her were no oil painting, well if her was it were by a blinking kid wi a blinking hangover. Wi her short whisker and scowling aspect if it had n't been for her tits you 'd have thought she were a bloody cuss

"Reet Francis, hedging your bloody bets were you ?"I asked.

"How so ?"Lady Mc asked.

"Couldn't William Tell if it were a bloody fella or a crashing young lady eh, I seen prettier bloody cabin boys, baboons even,"I laughed.

"Good then we are in accord Captain,"Francis snapped,"You are equally revolting, is that an millstone nest in your byssus ?"

"Bet bloody suitor are a bit sparse on bloody ground,"I laughed. She actually looked hurt.

"I have no stake in such matters,"she said.

I thought a bit bloody quick, good probability her were a crashing virgin, if I blew damn candle out it wouldn't matter what her bloody face looked like.

"fountainhead I reckon you might be just what I'm bloody after. I ent fussed about bloody looks all I want's is me bloody end away,"I said,"Just as bloody long as you 're a blooming Virgin I ‘ ll nookie thee and and wed thee and I can't say fairer than that."

"chieftain !"Lord Mc protested.

"Little Phoebe hundred,"I offered,"Guineas, to lead her off thi bloody hands and put a ring on her bloody finger's breadth, take it or pull up stakes it."

"We really need the money,"Lady Mc confessed.

"And you expect me to lay with this ogre for money ?"Francis demanded.

"I want's a bloody wife young girl, not just a all-fired woman of the street to shag, someone to front after me flaming house, Captain James Cook, clean smell after blinking kids, that sort o thing."I ventured.

"No pretence of honey or tenderness then ?"she asked.

"No, Bloody bollocks is that, bloody fondness, I just wants a crashing fucking, you wo n't do better than that I shan't bloody offer again."I said.

"Good,"she said,"Then I won't need to say no again, the answer police chief is no, never."She stormed away in a bloody strop.

"Feisty small-arm ent her ?"I queried,"I got the cash,"I said,"If thee persuasion I were flaming messing."

Lord Mc's optic bulged as I showed a pocket total of gold.

"need a glass of vino senior pilot,"he said,"Perhaps."

"Oh no, no way,"the former daughters insisted and they too rushed away.

"Let her chill out down a moment,"overlord Mc suggested,"I have a overnice Madera wine."

"Go on then, I'll have a bloody pint."I said. He gave me about adequate to overwhelm a bloody mouse, tight fisted sod.

He had his missus go and sort Francis out.

I heard a rumpus,"Get off me !"I heard the girl protest,"full point it, lay off it mother I woukd rather die than marry that awful man."

"Whats bloody on ?"I asked,"I offered a comely bloody Mary Leontyne Price, what's wrong wi her."

I stood up and went where the girl went, following the sound up the stairs me hobnail boots clattering on fresh brush up oak floor, trough I got to her bed room.

The mother were there with two chamber maids and the housekeeper. Poor Francis had her dress off and looked like she been whacked across face with a dead Haddock. Stunned she were.

All she had on were her corsets and knee distance stockings, no knickers or nothing but showing her privates and nice creamy thighs.

The mothern and housekeeper grabbed Francis and spread her peg wide,"Take a look Captain,"Lady Mc invited with a smirk.

"Get off her you bloody tough, bugger off,"I snapped,"I don't her maulered about by the likes of you. Go on. Get out."

"But master,"Lady Mc replied but the glint of light off me dagger blade soon changed her bloody melodic line,"leave of absence them, get out, get out."

"Are you about to bump off me captain ?"Francis asked.

I kicked the door shut and bolted it.

"No, I'd belt down your bloody female parent if I was you,"I said as I approached the bed,"Don't fret lass, I never had to coerce a damn chick to fuck me in me blinking life."

She sat on the edge of the bed and covered her privates as I approached.

I knelt down bfore her and gently pulled her hired hand away. She shuddered. I gave her a minute.

"Don't fret, I'll not hurt thee."I promised and then first I ran me fingerbreadth gently up her thighs and then I started to part her cunt back talk with me finger's breadth. It weren't the first gear time. Her cunt was well used.

"Looks like you been bloody shagging already ?"I announced

"Oh no, of course of action not,"she insisted,"How can you say such a thing ?"

"Well your bloody maidenhead ‘ s long gone,"I observed,"If thee ent had a bloody gent I suppose thee's been fucking thee's sen wi a bloody Candle then has tha ? Like I caught me damn sister doing a time or two ?"

"How did you know ?"she demanded.

"I weren't born bloody yesterday,"I explained as I undid me big pirates belt and let me trews gloaming,"let call it our short bloody secluded shall us ?

"Look Captain,"she protested but me digit were no fucking strangers to a dame's twat and wi me riffle on her little nub her tits were getting nice and pointy.

She started breathing large

"Bloody fortnight wi out a shag,"I explained,"Can't expect me to bar now lass."I kicked me trews off me boots.

"But chieftain,"she protested.

I weren't born yesterday, no good ramming me tool at her, I had to be suttle.

I leaned forward and kissed her cervix, her weren't expecting it, so I kissed me way down across her tits and on down to her mound. She sort of wriggled. and gasped. I slid back a bit and kissed me way up her thigh trough I got me tongue in the groove between her sass down there.

"Nooo,"she said but I was not to be denied. Her cunt was getting really moist now so I decided it were now or bally never and I stood up before aiming me self at her cunt.

"What's it to be lass, will thee bloody take me ?"I asked me knob straining like a bally Mizzen mast in me hand.

Her middle were care saucers, she said nowt but grasped me knob and helped me aim it in her. I pressed a bit and me bloody knob end just shot up her soppin'wet bloody twat like an linchpin up a hawsehole pipe.It were blinking heaven. right in till me balls were banging on her crotch,"What the bloody hell size of it bloody candle youm been using ?"I asked.

"Oooh maitre d',"she simpered,"That's so, ah,"

"Big ?"I asked."See being bloody have a go at it ent so fucking bad is it ?"

"Like a big warm supple candle, Surprisingly pleasant,"she agreed,

"So what's it to be lass."I asked,"Wed me or tek brass for the blooming fuck. Once I shot me bloody incumbrance in thee its for crashing life like, if thee can't tum it say now and I'll shoot me bally load over thee belly and say no more than about it."

"And the money ?"she asked.

"Fifty guineas,"I said,"Not bad for shooting me crashing load over thi bloody belly ?"

"Thank you kindly Captain, but shoot away sir,"she insisted,"For I fear you can not restrain yourself and I believe you have a kind ticker under that blunt Yorkshire exterior."

"Thee want's me to dart a dose of hot kindling up thee then, does thee ?"I asked.

She nodded,"Indeed I do,"she muttered,"So do your unsound Captain."

Me glob was bloody crinkling and me hammer was bloody throbbing and suddenly it were too later for bloody pullin'out and she was well fucked with me juice pumping in her like a pint of N and Ridley pumping from beer tap.

"How was that then lass ?"I asked when I recovered a bit.

"Surprisingly pleasant Captain,"she chuckled,"Next time perhaps you will bathe first so it is less like being ravished by a wild boar."

"Bathe be buggered, I fell in bloody Mersey yesterday,"I explained as I pulled out of her,"sucking me bloody peter severely I want's t'fuck thee again. ``

"Only when you have asked me to wed you,"she laughed

"I already did,"I reminded her.

"I think not,"she replied,"But you may suck my teats if it help wake youl."And with that she pylled her tits right out of her corset and ordered,"Off with your shirt I wish to feel your manly thorax against mine."

"You ent got a manly chest,"I laughed,"Quite the bloody opposite,"and I pulled my shirt and enthrone off and held her finish. Our mouths met, our tongues entwined. It do n't matter much what they bloody look like wi your spit in their gob, so me pecker reared and before I knew it we was bloody fucking again. Bloody bint was insatiable.

We gave it an hour or so before we went back downstairs. master and Lady Mc was waiting.

"We're getting wed,"I explained,"If you're agreeable like ?"

"Absolutely old chap, congratulations,"Lord Mc chorted,"Let us have the involution announced in Lancashire evening post.

"Bugger that I'm a bloody sea master, '' I exlained,"We can nip down damn haven and I can do bloody marriage, no bloody pauperization to pine away bloody face on bloody vicars. In fact we can bloody do it now."

Anyway her wanted her day in church service so we're getting wed official like, and do you live after we fucked a time or two her started bloody smiling at me and her look quite bloody comely if you squints a bit when the lights behind her. But at end of bloody day its what they fucks like what matters and she's bally champion and no blooming mistake even if she is from blooming Lancashire .