chieftain Beckinthwaite 's Bride.

I 'm Captain St. Thomas bloody Beckinthwaite, from bally Yorkshire and I do n't give a bugger what you bloody think because I bloody address as I bloody find.

We had a bloody bad trip back from US on steamship and when we got back to Liverpool I made for sure me brass were safe and went to see bloody agentive role first thing.

I went in his office.It stunk like a working girl boudoir with furnishings to match. Agent were a Slimy illegitimate with slicked down tomentum and poncy cause. He sat behind this over polished bloody oakwood crashing desk about the sizing of a bally cricket wicket the useless bastard.

"good day Captain, I am delighted to fulfil you at utmost,"he simpered wi'out standing up.

"No thee bloody ent,"I said,"Thee jus wants me cheek,"I answered him,"I'm from bloody Yorksire and I speaks me bloody mind,"I explained to the unknowing Lancashire twat.

"Er, yes, the cheek,"he said awkwardly.

"Ton and a half of it,"I said,"Dubloons, composition of eight, that kind of brass."

"We thought you meant organisation,"his supporter chipped in. She was like a dead haired gorilla in a black dress with a gob like a bulldog chewing a wasp.

"Brass, Money,"I said,"Bloody elementary enough even for you bloody unknowing Lanky buggers ent it ?"

"face is an alloy of cop and Tin,"she ventured.

"Clever bitch eh, need to be with a gob like yours,"I advised, `` Ent going to get far wi your bloody looks and that 's a bloody fact ..

"How very much were you asking ?"the slimy one asked.

I told him, showed him chit for it.

"Yes we will pay the asking price,"the slimy bastard said rooking me,"The cheque please young woman Rathbone."and they give me it and it were done.

I nipped round bank and paid it in quick. Daft prick on buffet near fainted at size of it of check but I drew out a fair few pound and went about me business.

Fifteen bloody Day voyage took, bloody steamship broke down on the way but at last I had some brass in savings bank and could total home instead of scratting round down South America way meking a bob or two here an there.

I went to see Harbour headmaster what were a mate of mine, we had a New World chat for a few minutes then I asked"Where's slave market, I fancies a decent plump fresh John Brown one."

"By heck you been away a bloody while,"he said,"Thee casn't have slaves in England any more."

"You what ?"I demanded.

"Nay,"He said,"They banned slave'ry back in thirty three and anyroad nobs got fed up wi novelty an let almost of ‘ em go free."

"Bloody heck,"I said,"Where the bloody sin do I find a squeamish plump virgin for tonight ?"

"Tonight, Thee'll be all-fired lucky to find one in Salford at all, thee'll have to espouse a nob lad !"he laughed.

I had a think. Go without, risk sporting lady house or marry a nob. Marrying a nob seemed best idea.

I had a think and thought nobs hung out at Queens Hotel so that's where I went, they had dinner party bill of fare outside. and it were just after noon so I thought I would ingest a bite to eat. Now I ent thick or nowt but I couldn't make head or derriere o menu so I thought I woud ask waiter. Turns out they has dinner at tea fourth dimension and noonday time was lunch. Anyroad I had a feed.

coach come up to me and asked me business,"Looking for a nob to hook up with,"I said,"Posh bint like, got to be pure mind."

He got wrong end of stick and suggested a couple of whore home.

"Nay I want a adult female for keeps see, If I pay out a fair bit and keeps her bloody chained up I have a nasset see, not keep open forking out for tarts trough I gets bloody clap and me cock rots off."

"You can't keep on slaves anymore, but there's a blighter bout Inkerman Street does a smashing range of chastity belts,"he suggested,"Actually, tween thee and me, that Lord wi his back to us over there's got more daughter than you can escape from a stick at, why not ca-ca him an fling ?"

I looked, some poncy old codger talking to his match over a sliver of Pisces the Fishes and drop o vino that woudn't sustain a bloody church service mouse.

"That's handy,"I said giving him a big tip and I sauntered across.

"I hear you got a couple of daughters to unload like ?"I says straight out.

"And who the infernal region are you sir ?"he snapped as he stood to face up me,"Have you no decorum."

"What's flaming decorum,"I says,"I ent no house painter I'm bloody Captain bloody Beckinthwaite from bloody Yorkshire and I speaks me bloody mind."

His poncy nob mates was pissing they selves laughing at me,"Look if its bloody brass you want I'll pay top dollar, long as she's virgin, two legs, two weapon system, dyad of bloody mamilla, her own teeth, hearing and seeing would be a bonus but long as she can perform in bloody bed I ent that bloody fussed."

"I say George,"one of his Paraguay tea, a simpering prat dressed like a right pimp says,"You might well marry off your Emily if you play your cards right."

"I ent playing no bloody cards,"I said,"Hard Johnny Cash, I knows too many all-fired identity card sharps."

"I have never been so insult sir,"he says, but his better half grabbed his arm.

"George V, think, he'll pay,"this cranny said,"Instead of a demanding a dowry he'll pay you, you know you need the wonga.

"Ah,"he said,"I understand you now, why not come to my house directly and meet my girl ?"

His poncy spouse warned him not to seem too acute but as soon as I said I'd pay their tab he agreed.

The chap lived a Roman mile or so from hotel, so we hailed a cab. His blank space needed a lick of paint and the Butler's jacket had seen better days.

"Shall I show the, er, Gentleman, to the handmaiden tail,"bloody sarky Butler smirked.

"No he is a guest, Mr '' the feller explained

"sea captain Beckintwaite,"I said,"I'm from bloody Yorkshire and talk me blinking mind. Know thee's bloody home or thee'll finger me damn belt mark thee bloody ass."

"I beg your pardon,"he said all sarky like,"Sir."

Bloody woman turns up,"By heck you're an wretched bitch,"I says,"Hope you ent his bloody daughter, thee'd have to pay me to poke thee."

"This is my wife Captain,"bloke says,"madam McGonnegal."

"No offence like,"I says as she belts me round the chop, we her prim deal and half inch long finger nails."Feisty objet d'art ent she ?"

"Captain Beckinthwaite compliments to court one of our daughters dearest,"the bloke says, I sort of guessed he was Godhead McGonnegal, Maker Mc for short.

"Over my utter organic structure,"Lady Mc retorted. I drew me dagger.

"Come now we are all friends here,"overlord Mc pleaded as his aspect went a deathly white,"chieftain Beckinthwaite has just returned from a very profitabe adventure in the Americas."

"Bloody nightmare,"I said,"tempest, tempest, bloody feed water ticker bloody spindle bloody gland bloody blew and I haven't had a flaming piece of ass in weeks."

"Capain please,"Lady Mc insisted.

"I had a bloody gut full on't it, fucking transportation lark."I said,"boldness is in bloody mining that's what I reckon, mellow bloody meter to bloody settle down."

"And you seek to court my daughters ?"Lady Mc asked.

"Bloody shag em more bloody like,"I said,"Don't mind bloody paying,"I says,"Just as long as I gets her to me self, don't want no lousy bloody butlers poking on her like thee and he does soon as crashing lordships'back 's turned."

Butler blushed near as red as her Ladyship did, I reckoned I had hit bloody nail on't bloody fountainhead, I also reckoned God Almighty Mc were in on't as well.

Lady Mc knew when to save stum so she showed us into parlour."Girls,"she says,"Come and meet Captain er, what is your name ?"

"Beckinthwaite,"I says,"From Yorkshire."

The first girl were knockout, blonde hair on her berm, aristocratic eyes, lame rigged dress showcasing her tit, out of my league, probably been rogered by half the servant, anyroad her scowled at me.

"This is Philomena my arcsecond eldest,"Lady Mc explained.

"So who is Mr Beckinthwaite ?"the young lady asked.

"Bloody rich and in motivation of a bloody fuck,"I said,"I'm Yorkshire bloody Born and bred and I speaks me fucking mind and you're a knockout and no mistake."

"I speak my mind too sir and you sir are entirely hideous,"she explained.

Another vision of lovliness followed into the room,"Queen Victoria,"Lady Mc explained,"And my eldest Francis."

Bloody Inferno, her were no oil painting, well if her was it were by a bloody kid wi a bloody hangover. Wi her short hair and scowling brass if it had n't been for her tits you 'd cause thought she were a blooming bloke

"Reet Francis, hedging your bloody wager were you ?"I asked.

"How so ?"Lady Mc asked.

"Couldn't Tell if it were a bloody bloke or a bloody girl eh, I seen prettier bloody cabin son, baboons even,"I laughed.

"Good then we are in pact Captain,"Francis snapped,"You are equally revolting, is that an mollymawk cuddle in your byssus ?"

"Bet bloody wooer are a bit flimsy on bloody land,"I laughed. She actually looked hurt.

"I have no interestingness in such matters,"she said.

I thought a bit bloody agile, good fortune her were a bloody Virgo the Virgin, if I blew blinking candle out it wouldn't matter what her bloody side looked like.

"fountainhead I reckon you might be just what I'm bloody after. I ent fussed about bloody looks all I want's is me crashing end away,"I said,"Just as bloody long as you 're a blinking Virgin I ‘ ll piece of tail thee and and wed thee and I can't say bonnie than that."

"Captain !"Divine Mc protested.

"fin hundred,"I offered,"Guinea, to take her off thi bloody work force and put a ring on her bloody finger, convey it or exit it."

"We really need the money,"lady Mc confessed.

"And you expect me to lay with this monster for money ?"Francis demanded.

"I want's a bloody wife lass, not just a blooming tart to shag, mortal to expect after me all-fired theatre, cook, pick facial expression after bloody kids, that sort o thing."I ventured.

"No pretending of making love or affection then ?"she asked.

"No, Bloody bollocks is that, crashing affection, I just wants a bloody shag, you wo n't do better than that I shan't bloody offer again."I said.

"Good,"she said,"Then I won't need to say no again, the answer skipper is no, never."She stormed away in a bloody strop.

"Feisty piece ent her ?"I queried,"I got the hard cash,"I said,"If thee opinion I were bloody messing."

lord Mc's middle bulged as I showed a pocket full of gold.

"Take a glass of wine-colored maitre d'hotel,"he said,"Perhaps."

"Oh no, no way,"the other daughter insisted and they too rushed away.

"Let her chill out down a moment,"Lord Mc suggested,"I have a nice Madera wine."

"Go on then, I'll have a flaming pint."I said. He gave me about decent to drown a bloody mouse, tight fisted sod.

He had his missus go and sort Francis out.

I heard a rumpus,"Get off me !"I heard the girl protestation,"Stop it, block it mother I woukd rather die than marry that awful man."

"Whats bloody on ?"I asked,"I offered a reasonable bloody price, what's wrong wi her."

I stood up and went where the girl went, following the auditory sensation up the stairs me hobnail boots clattering on fresh polished oak storey, till I got to her bed room.

The mother were there with two chamber maidservant and the housekeeper. poor people Francis had her garb off and looked like she been whacked across expression with a dead Melanogrammus aeglefinus. Stunned she were.

All she had on were her girdle and knee length stockings, no knee breeches or nothing but showing her privates and decent creamy thighs.

The mothern and housekeeper grabbed Francis and spread her stage wide,"Take a look Captain,"Lady Mc invited with a smirk.

"Get off her you fucking ruffian, bugger off,"I snapped,"I don't her maulered about by the likes of you. Go on. Get out."

"But Captain,"Lady Mc replied but the glint of light off me sticker blade soon changed her bloody strain,"leave them, get out, get out."

"Are you about to hit me captain ?"Francis asked.

I kicked the door shut and bolted it.

"No, I'd toss off your bloody mother if I was you,"I said as I approached the bed,"Don't fret lass, I never had to force a damn skirt to love me in me bloody life."

She sat on the edge of the bed and covered her genitalia as I approached.

I knelt down bfore her and gently pulled her script away. She shuddered. I gave her a minute.

"Don't fret, I'll not hurt thee."I promised and then first I ran me fingers gently up her thighs and then I started to section her cunt lip with me fingers. It weren't the starting time time. Her slit was well used.

"flavor like you been fucking shagging already ?"I announced

"Oh no, of course not,"she insisted,"How can you say such a thing ?"

"Well your bloody maidenhead ‘ s long gone,"I observed,"If thee ent had a bloody chap I suppose thee's been fucking thee's sen wi a bloody cd then has tha ? Like I caught me bloody baby doing a fourth dimension or two ?"

"How did you know ?"she demanded.

"I weren't born bloody yesterday,"I explained as I undid me big pirates belt and let me trews fall,"Lashkar-e-Tayyiba call it our lilliputian bloody mystical shall us ?

"flavor Captain,"she protested but me fingers were no blooming stranger to a wench's twat and wi me flip on her little nub her tits were getting decent and pointy.

She started breathing with child

"Bloody fortnight wi out a nooky,"I explained,"Can't await me to stop now lass."I kicked me trews off me boots.

"But skipper,"she protested.

I weren't born yesterday, no goodness ramming me putz at her, I had to be suttle.

I leaned forward and kissed her neck, her weren't expecting it, so I kissed me way down across her tits and on down to her mound. She sort of wriggled. and gasped. I slid back a bit and kissed me way up her thigh till I got me tongue in the groove between her lips down there.

"Nooo,"she said but I was not to be denied. Her bitch was getting really moist now so I decided it were now or bally never and I stood up before aiming me ego at her cunt.

"What's it to be lass, will thee blooming shoot me ?"I asked me knob straining like a bloody Mizzen mast in me hand.

Her eyes were like saucers, she said nowt but grasped me thickening and helped me aim it in her. I pressed a bit and me bloody knob end just shot up her soppin'wet bloody cunt like an anchorperson up a hawsepipe pipe.It were blooming heaven. right wing in till me Ball were banging on her genitals,"What the bloody netherworld size bloody candle youm been using ?"I asked.

"Oooh police chief,"she simpered,"That's so, ah,"

"Big ?"I asked."See being bloody fucked ent so bloody bad is it ?"

"Like a big warm supple candle, Surprisingly pleasant,"she agreed,

"So what's it to be lass."I asked,"Wed me or tek organization for the bally fuck. Once I shot me bloody loading in thee its for flaming life like, if thee can't stomach it say now and I'll shoot me bloody freight over thee belly and say no more about it."

"And the money ?"she asked.

"Fifty guineas,"I said,"Not bad for shooting me bloody freight over thi bloody belly ?"

"Thank you kindly Captain, but shoot away sir,"she insisted,"For I fear you can not restrain yourself and I believe you have a kind kernel under that blunt Yorkshire exterior."

"Thee want's me to shoot a venereal infection of hot spunk up thee then, does thee ?"I asked.

She nodded,"Indeed I do,"she muttered,"So do your worst Captain."

Me balls was bloody crinkling and me pecker was bloody throbbing and suddenly it were too late for bloody pullin'out and she was well fucked with me juice pumping in her like a pint of newton and Ridley pumping from beer tap.

"How was that then lass ?"I asked when I recovered a bit.

"Surprisingly pleasant Captain,"she chuckled,"Next time perhaps you will bathe first so it is less like being ravished by a godforsaken boar."

"Bathe be buggered, I fell in bloody Mersey yesterday,"I explained as I pulled out of her,"sucking me bloody prance hard I want's t'fuck thee again. ``

"Only when you have asked me to wed you,"she laughed

"I already did,"I reminded her.

"I think not,"she replied,"But you may go down on my teats if it help force out youl."And with that she pylled her teat right out of her corset and ordered,"Off with your shirt I wish to feel your manly chest against mine."

"You ent got a manly dresser,"I laughed,"Quite the bloody opposite,"and I pulled my shirt and invest off and held her stopping point. Our mouths met, our tongues entwined. It do n't matter much what they bloody look like wi your glossa in their gob, so me cock reared and before I knew it we was flaming fucking again. Bloody bint was insatiable.

We gave it an minute or so before we went back downstairs. Lord and dame Mc was waiting.

"We're getting wed,"I explained,"If you're concordant like ?"

"Absolutely old chap, congratulations,"Lord Mc chorted,"Let us have the interlocking announced in Lancashire evening post.

"Bugger that I'm a bloody sea captain, '' I exlained,"We can nip down bloody harbour and I can do bloody man and wife, no bloody need to consume flaming brass on bloody vicars. In fact we can bloody do it now."

Anyway her wanted her day in church so we're getting wed official like, and do you have it away after we fucked a time or two her started bloody smiling at me and her looks quite bloody comely if you squints a bit when the Inner Light behind her. But at end of blooming day its what they fucks like what matters and she's flaming champion and no bloody misidentify even if she is from bloody Lancashire .