captain Beckinthwaite 's Bride.

I 'm captain Thomas bloody Beckinthwaite, from all-fired Yorkshire and I do n't pass a bugger what you bloody consider because I bloody speak as I bloody find.

We had a bloody bad slip back from United States of America on steamer and when we got back to Liverpool I made certain me brass instrument were safe and went to see blooming factor first thing.

I went in his office.It stunk like a Tarts boudoir with furnishings to equal. Agent were a Slimy asshole with slicked down hair and poncy suit. He sat behind this over polished bloody oakwood bloody desk about the sizing of a damn cricket wicket the useless bastard.

"Good day sea captain, I am delighted to meet you at last,"he simpered wi'out standing up.

"No thee bloody ent,"I said,"Thee jus wants me brass,"I answered him,"I'm from bloody Yorksire and I speaks me bloody intellect,"I explained to the ignorant Lancashire twat.

"Er, yes, the establishment,"he said awkwardly.

"Ton and a one-half of it,"I said,"Dubloons, part of eight, that sort of brass."

"We thought you signify memorial tablet,"his assistant chipped in. She was like a short circuit haired Gorilla gorilla in a black dress with a gob like a bulldog chewing a wasp.

"Brass, Money,"I said,"Bloody simple-minded enough even for you bloody unknowledgeable Lanky buggers ent it ?"

"Brass is an alloy of Copper and Tin,"she ventured.

"Clever bitch eh, need to be with a gob like yours,"I advised, `` Ent going to get far wi your bloody looks and that 's a bloody fact ..

"How a good deal were you asking ?"the slimy one asked.

I told him, showed him chit for it.

"Yes we will pay the asking price,"the slimy bastard said rooking me,"The cheque please young lady Rathbone."and they give me it and it were done.

I nipped labialise bank and paid it in quick. Daft motherfucker on counter near fainted at size of it of cheque but I drew out a fair few quid and went about me business.

Fifteen bloody days voyage took, bloody steamship broke down on the way but at last I had some boldness in bank and could come home instead of scratting round down South the States way meking a bob or two here an there.

I went to see Harbour passkey what were a Paraguay tea of mine, we had a chat for a few instant then I asked"Where's slave securities industry, I fancies a nice plump tonic brown one."

"By heck you been away a bloody while,"he said,"Thee casn't have hard worker in England any more."

"You what ?"I demanded.

"Nay,"He said,"They banned slave'ry back in thirty three and anyroad nobs got fed up wi novelty an let most of ‘ em go free."

"Bloody heck,"I said,"Where the bloody hellhole do I find a nice plump virgin for tonight ?"

"Tonight, Thee'll be bloody lucky to find one in Salford at all, thee'll have to marry a nob lad !"he laughed.

I had a think. Go without, risk cyprian house or marry a nob. Marrying a nob seemed best idea.

I had a think and thought nobs hung out at Queens Hotel so that's where I went, they had Dinner Menu outside. and it were just after high noon so I thought I would have a sting to eat. Now I ent thick or nowt but I couldn't make forefront or buns o fare so I thought I woud ask server. Turns out they has dinner at tea time and midday time was Luncheon. Anyroad I had a feed.

manager do up to me and asked me concern,"looking at for a nob to marry,"I said,"Posh bint like, got to be pure mind."

He got damage end of stick and suggested a couple of harlot houses.

"Nay I want a woman for keeps see, If I pay out a fair bit and keeps her bloody chained up I have a nasset see, not keep forking out for tarts till I gets bloody blast and me cock rots off."

"You can't proceed hard worker anymore, but there's a gent round Inkerman Street does a smashing kitchen range of virtue bang,"he suggested,"Actually, tween thee and me, that Lord wi his back to us over there's got more daughters than you can didder a stick at, why not make him an offer ?"

I looked, some poncy old codger talking to his mates over a shaving of fish and drop o vino that woudn't sustain a bloody church mouse.

"That's Handy,"I said giving him a big tip and I sauntered across.

"I hear you got a yoke of daughter to offload like ?"I says unbowed out.

"And who the hell are you sir ?"he snapped as he stood to face me,"Have you no decorum."

"What's bloody decorum,"I says,"I ent no house cougar I'm bloody master bloody Beckinthwaite from bloody Yorkshire and I speaks me flaming mind."

His poncy nob teammate was pissing they selves laughing at me,"Look if its bloody brass you want I'll pay top dollar sign, long as she's virgin, two legs, two implements of war, couple of bloody tits, her own dentition, hearing and seeing would be a incentive but long as she can do in bloody bed I ent that bloody fussed."

"I say George,"one of his mates, a simpering prat dressed like a right ponce says,"You might well conjoin off your Emily if you play your cards right."

"I ent playing no bloody cards,"I said,"Hard hard cash, I knows too many flaming bill sharps."

"I have never been so insult sir,"he says, but his mate grabbed his arm.

"St. George, think, he'll pay,"this lad said,"Instead of a demanding a dower he'll pay you, you know you need the wonga.

"Ah,"he said,"I understand you now, why not come to my house directly and meet my daughter ?"

His poncy first mate warned him not to seem too exquisite but as soon as I said I'd pay their tab he agreed.

The feller lived a stat mi or so from hotel, so we hailed a cab. His place needed a lick of paint and the Butler's jacket crown had seen better days.

"Shall I show the, er, Gentleman, to the handmaid quarters,"bloody sarky Butler smirked.

"No he is a guest, Mr '' the bloke explained

"Captain Beckintwaite,"I said,"I'm from bloody Yorkshire and verbalize me all-fired mind. Know thee's bloody place or thee'll experience me bloody belt cross thee bloody ass."

"I beg your free pardon,"he said all sarky like,"Sir."

Bloody cleaning woman turns up,"By heck you're an ugly bitch,"I says,"Hope you ent his bloody girl, thee'd have to pay me to poke thee."

"This is my wife Captain,"bloke says,"dame McGonnegal."

"No offensive like,"I says as she belts me round the chopper, we her kickshaw hand and one-half inch long finger nails."Feisty art object ent she ?"

"Captain Beckinthwaite compliments to tribunal one of our daughters dearest,"the fellow says, I sort of guessed he was Lord McGonnegal, Godhead Mc for short.

"Over my idle trunk,"peeress Mc retorted. I drew me dagger.

"Come now we are all protagonist here,"Jehovah Mc pleaded as his face went a deathly T. H. White,"Captain Beckinthwaite has just returned from a very profitabe adventure in the Americas."

"Bloody incubus,"I said,"storm, Tempest, bloody feed water system pump bloody spindle bloody gland bloody blew and I haven't had a bloody shag in weeks."

"Capain please,"Lady Mc insisted.

"I had a blinking gut full on't it, bloody cargo ships lark."I said,"Brass is in bloody mining that's what I reckon, heights bloody metre to bloody settle down."

"And you seek to court my daughters ?"Lady Mc asked.

"Bloody shag em more bloody like,"I said,"Don't mind bloody paying,"I says,"Just as long as I gets her to me self, don't want no filthy bloody butlers poking on her similar thee and he does soon as flaming Lordship'back 's turned."

Butler blushed near as red as her Ladyship did, I reckoned I had hit fucking nail on't bloody principal, I also reckoned Lord Mc were in on't as well.

peeress Mc knew when to sustain stum so she showed us into parlour."Girls,"she says,"semen and meet skipper er, what is your epithet ?"

"Beckinthwaite,"I says,"From Yorkshire."

The first off girl were knockout, light-haired hair on her shoulders, blue eyes, square rigged dress showcasing her tits, out of my league, probably been rogered by half the servants, anyroad her scowled at me.

"This is Philomena my secondly eldest,"Lady Mc explained.

"So who is Mr Beckinthwaite ?"the girl asked.

"Bloody plenteous and in pauperism of a damn fuck,"I said,"I'm Yorkshire bloody born and bred and I speaks me bloody mind and you're a knockout and no mistake."

"I speak my mind too sir and you sir are entirely repulsive,"she explained.

Another sight of lovliness followed into the room,"Victoria,"Lady Mc explained,"And my eldest Francis."

Bloody hell, her were no oil house painting, well if her was it were by a bloody kid wi a bloody katzenjammer. Wi her little hair and scowling face if it had n't been for her tits you 'd have thought she were a bloody cuss

"Reet Francis, hedging your bloody wager were you ?"I asked.

"How so ?"dame Mc asked.

"Couldn't William Tell if it were a bloody bloke or a all-fired girl eh, I seen prettier bloody cabin male child, baboons even,"I laughed.

"good then we are in accord police chief,"Francis snapped,"You are equally revolting, is that an Albatross cuddle in your beard ?"

"Bet bloody wooer are a bit thin on bloody ground,"I laughed. She actually looked hurt.

"I have no pursuit in such matters,"she said.

I thought a bit fucking nimble, skillful hazard her were a bally virgin, if I blew all-fired candle out it wouldn't issue what her bally expression looked like.

"wellspring I reckon you might be just what I'm bloody after. I ent fussed about bloody looks all I want's is me bloody end away,"I said,"Just as bloody long as you 're a bloody virgin I ‘ ll shag thee and and wed thee and I can't say fairer than that."

"Captain !"God Almighty Mc protested.

"cinque hundred,"I offered,"French Guinea, to take her off thi bloody workforce and put a band on her bloody finger, aim it or leave alone it."

"We really involve the money,"Lady Mc confessed.

"And you expect me to lay with this monster for money ?"Francis demanded.

"I want's a bloody wife jeune fille, not just a bloody tart to shag, someone to expect after me blinking house, cook, clean look after bloody Kid, that form o thing."I ventured.

"No pretence of love or affection then ?"she asked.

"No, Bloody bollocks is that, bloody affection, I just wants a bloody piece of ass, you wo n't do advantageously than that I shan't bloody offer again."I said.

"Good,"she said,"Then I won't need to say no again, the result captain is no, never."She stormed away in a bloody strop.

"Feisty part ent her ?"I queried,"I got the cash,"I said,"If thee sentiment I were blooming messing."

Lord Mc's eyes bulged as I showed a pocket full phase of the moon of gold.

"Take a glass of wine chieftain,"he said,"Perhaps."

"Oh no, no way,"the other daughter insisted and they too rushed away.

"Let her calm down a moment,"Lord Mc suggested,"I have a nice Madera wine."

"Go on then, I'll have a bloody pint."I said. He gave me about enough to submerge a bloody mouse, tight fisted sod.

He had his missus go and form Francis out.

I heard a ruckus,"Get off me !"I heard the young lady protest,"full stop it, stop it mother I woukd rather die than marry that awful man."

"Whats bloody on ?"I asked,"I offered a middling fucking price, what's wrong wi her."

I stood up and went where the girl went, following the auditory sensation up the stairs me hobnail thrill clattering on tonic polished oak trading floor, trough I got to her bed room.

The mother were there with two sleeping accommodation maids and the housekeeper. Poor Francis had her dress off and looked like she been whacked across human face with a dead Haddock. Stunned she were.

All she had on were her corsets and knee length stockings, no knickers or zip but showing her privates and nice creamy thigh.

The mothern and housekeeper grabbed Francis and spread her legs blanket,"Take a look chieftain,"dame Mc invited with a smirk.

"Get off her you bloody tough, bugger off,"I snapped,"I don't her maulered about by the the likes of of you. Go on. Get out."

"But Captain,"noblewoman Mc replied but the glint of light off me dagger blade soon changed her bloody tune,"parting them, get out, get out."

"Are you about to murder me Captain ?"Francis asked.

I kicked the door shut and bolted it.

"No, I'd down your bloody mother if I was you,"I said as I approached the bed,"Don't eat into lass, I never had to drive a fucking wench to fuck me in me bally life."

She sat on the edge of the bed and covered her crotch as I approached.

I knelt down bfore her and gently pulled her hand away. She shuddered. I gave her a minute.

"Don't sweat, I'll not hurt thee."I promised and then first I ran me fingerbreadth gently up her thighs and then I started to part her cunt rim with me fingerbreadth. It weren't the offset time. Her snatch was well used.

"Looks like you been bally shagging already ?"I announced

"Oh no, of course of action not,"she insisted,"How can you say such a thing ?"

"Well your bloody maidenhead ‘ s long gone,"I observed,"If thee ent had a all-fired bloke I suppose thee's been fucking thee's sen wi a bloody Candle then has tha ? Like I caught me all-fired babe doing a time or two ?"

"How did you love ?"she demanded.

"I weren't born bloody yesterday,"I explained as I undid me big pirate belt and let me trews fall,"Lets call off it our little bloody secret shall us ?

"Look master,"she protested but me finger were no bloody alien to a dame's cunt and wi me riffle on her footling nub her boob were getting nice and pointy.

She started breathing gruelling

"Bloody fortnight wi out a piece of ass,"I explained,"Can't expect me to stop now lass."I kicked me trews off me boots.

"But Captain,"she protested.

I weren't born yesterday, no expert ramming me cock at her, I had to be suttle.

I leaned forward and kissed her neck, her weren't expecting it, so I kissed me way down across her teat and on down to her mound. She sort of wriggled. and gasped. I slid back a bit and kissed me way up her thigh till I got me tongue in the groove between her sass down there.

"Nooo,"she said but I was not to be denied. Her pussy was getting really moist now so I decided it were now or crashing never and I stood up before aiming me self at her cunt.

"What's it to be lass, will thee crashing take me ?"I asked me knob straining like a bloody Mizzen mast in me hand.

Her eyes were ilk saucers, she said nowt but grasped me thickening and helped me aim it in her. I pressed a bit and me bloody knob end just shot up her soppin'wet bloody bitch like an ground tackle up a hawse pipe.It were bloody heaven. Right in boulder clay me balls were banging on her genital organ,"What the bloody Inferno size bloody cd youm been using ?"I asked.

"Oooh maitre d',"she simpered,"That's so, ah,"

"Big ?"I asked."See being crashing fucked ent so bloody bad is it ?"

"Like a big warm supple candle, Surprisingly pleasant,"she agreed,

"So what's it to be lass."I asked,"Wed me or tek boldness for the bloody fuck. Once I shot me bloody load in thee its for fucking life sentence like, if thee can't venter it say now and I'll shoot me blooming load over thee belly and say no more than about it."

"And the money ?"she asked.

"fifty guineas,"I said,"Not bad for shooting me damn load over thi bloody belly ?"

"Thank you kindly Captain, but shoot away sir,"she insisted,"For I fear you can not restrain yourself and I believe you have a kind bosom under that blunt Yorkshire exterior."

"Thee want's me to shoot a dose of hot tinder up thee then, does thee ?"I asked.

She nodded,"Indeed I do,"she muttered,"So do your worst Captain."

Me Lucille Ball was bloody crinkling and me shaft was blinking throb and suddenly it were too late for flaming pullin'out and she was well fucked with me juice pumping in her like a dry pint of Newton and Ridley pumping from beer tap.

"How was that then lass ?"I asked when I recovered a bit.

"Surprisingly pleasant Captain,"she chuckled,"Next time perhaps you will bathe first so it is less like being ravished by a wild boar."

"Bathe be buggered, I fell in bloody Mersey yesterday,"I explained as I pulled out of her,"Suck me bloody hammer hard I want's t'fuck thee again. ``

"Only when you have asked me to wed you,"she laughed

"I already did,"I reminded her.

"I think not,"she replied,"But you may fellate my teats if it help arouse youl."And with that she pylled her mamilla right out of her corset and ordered,"Off with your shirt I wish to palpate your manly pectus against mine."

"You ent got a manly chest,"I laughed,"Quite the bloody opposite,"and I pulled my shirt and vest off and held her ending. Our sass met, our tongue entwined. It do n't matter much what they bloody look like wi your tongue in their gob, so me pecker reared and before I knew it we was bloody fucking again. Bloody bint was insatiable.

We gave it an hour or so before we went back downstairs. Lord and ma'am Mc was waiting.

"We're getting wed,"I explained,"If you're concordant like ?"

"Absolutely old chap, extolment,"Godhead Mc chorted,"Let us make the mesh announced in Lancashire evening post.

"Bugger that I'm a flaming sea captain, '' I exlained,"We can nip down blinking seaport and I can do blooming marriage, no bloody pauperization to do in bloody governing body on bloody vicars. In fact we can bloody do it now."

Anyway her wanted her day in church so we're getting wed official like, and do you recognize after we fucked a prison term or two her started bloody smiling at me and her aspect quite bloody comely if you squints a bit when the lights behind her. But at end of bally day its what they fucks like what affair and she's bally champion and no bloody err even if she is from blinking Lancashire .