Captain Beckinthwaite 's Bride.

I 'm Captain Thomas bloody Beckinthwaite, from bally Yorkshire and I do n't give a sodomist what you bloody think because I bloody speak as I bloody discover.

We had a fucking bad trip back from United States on steamship and when we got back to Liverpool I made sure me brass instrument were safe and went to see bloody Agent first thing.

I went in his office.It stunk like a cocotte boudoir with trappings to cope with. Agent were a Slimy love child with slicked down whisker and poncy wooing. He sat behind this over round bloody oakwood bloody desk about the size of a all-fired cricket wicket the useless bastard.

"Good day Captain, I am delighted to meet you at cobbler's last,"he simpered wi'out standing up.

"No thee bloody ent,"I said,"Thee jus wants me plaque,"I answered him,"I'm from bloody Yorksire and I speaks me fucking mind,"I explained to the ignorant Lancashire twat.

"Er, yes, the face,"he said awkwardly.

"Ton and a half of it,"I said,"Dubloons, patch of eight, that variety of brass."

"We thought you meant plaque,"his supporter chipped in. She was like a short haired Gorilla gorilla in a black garb with a gob like a English bulldog chewing a wasp.

"face, Money,"I said,"Bloody simple enough even for you bloody ignorant Lanky sodomite ent it ?"

"Brass is an alloy of Copper and Tin,"she ventured.

"Clever bitch eh, need to be with a gob like yours,"I advised, `` Ent going to get far wi your bloody looks and that 's a bloody fact ..

"How much were you asking ?"the slimy one asked.

I told him, showed him chit for it.

"Yes we will pay the asking terms,"the slimy bastard said rooking me,"The cheque please Miss Rathbone."and they give me it and it were done.

I nipped polish up camber and paid it in quick. Daft bastard on counter near fainted at size of it of cheque but I drew out a fair few quid pro quo and went about me business.

Fifteen bloody days voyage took, bloody steamship broke down on the way but at terminal I had some governance in bank and could come home instead of scratting round down south America way meking a bob or two here an there.

I went to see haven overlord what were a mate of mine, we had a Old World chat for a few minutes then I asked"Where's slave securities industry, I fancies a nice plump unused brown one."

"By heck you been away a bloody while,"he said,"Thee casn't have slaves in England any more."

"You what ?"I demanded.

"Nay,"He said,"They banned slave'ry back in thirty three and anyroad toff got fed up wi novelty an let nigh of ‘ em go free."

"Bloody heck,"I said,"Where the bloody hell do I observe a nice plump Virgo the Virgin for tonight ?"

"Tonight, Thee'll be all-fired prosperous to ascertain one in Salford at all, thee'll have to marry a nob lad !"he laughed.

I had a think. Go without, risk whore house or marry a nob. Marrying a nob seemed sound idea.

I had a think and thought nobs hung out at fag Hotel so that's where I went, they had Dinner Menu exterior. and it were just after noon so I thought I would have a snack to eat. Now I ent stocky or nowt but I couldn't make mind or tail o bill of fare so I thought I woud ask server. Turns out they has dinner at tea prison term and noon meter was Luncheon. Anyroad I had a feed.

manager come up to me and asked me business,"looking at for a nob to get married,"I said,"Posh bint like, got to be sodding mind."

He got wrong end of spliff and suggested a pair of prostitute family.

"Nay I want a charwoman for hold see, If I pay out a fair bit and keeps her bloody chained up I have a nasset see, not keep open forking out for prostitute till I gets crashing clap and me cock rots off."

"You can't keep slaves anymore, but there's a gent round Inkerman Street does a smashing orbit of chastity belts,"he suggested,"Actually, tween thee and me, that Divine wi his back to us over there's got more daughters than you can shake a peg at, why not make him an offer ?"

I looked, some poncy old codger talking to his mates over a paring of fish and drib o wine that woudn't sustain a bloody church mouse.

"That's W. C. Handy,"I said giving him a big tip and I sauntered across.

"I hear you got a couple of girl to unload like ?"I says straight out.

"And who the blaze are you sir ?"he snapped as he stood to look me,"Have you no decorum."

"What's bloody decorum,"I says,"I ent no house painter I'm bloody Captain bloody Beckinthwaite from bloody Yorkshire and I speaks me blinking mind."

His poncy nob mates was pissing they selves laughing at me,"smell if its bloody organisation you want I'll pay top one dollar bill, long as she's virgin, two legs, two arms, couple of bloody tits, her own teeth, earreach and seeing would be a bonus but long as she can perform in bloody bed I ent that bloody fussed."

"I say George,"one of his mates, a simpering posterior dressed like a right ponce says,"You might well marry off your Emily if you play your plug-in right."

"I ent playing no bloody cards,"I said,"Hard cash, I knows too many bally card sharps."

"I have never been so insulted sir,"he says, but his mate grabbed his arm.

"George VI, think, he'll pay,"this gent said,"Instead of a demanding a dowry he'll pay you, you know you need the wonga.

"Ah,"he said,"I understand you now, why not come to my house directly and come across my daughters ?"

His poncy Paraguay tea warned him not to seem too stabbing but as soon as I said I'd pay their tab he agreed.

The cuss lived a mile or so from hotel, so we hailed a cab. His home needed a lick of paint and the Samuel Butler's crown had seen better days.

"Shall I show the, er, gentleman, to the handmaiden fourth part,"bloody sarky Butler smirked.

"No he is a client, Mr '' the gent explained

"Captain Beckintwaite,"I said,"I'm from bloody Yorkshire and speaks me blinking nous. Know thee's bloody space or thee'll palpate me blooming belt hybridization thee bloody ass."

"I beg your amnesty,"he said all sarky like,"Sir."

Bloody cleaning lady turns up,"By heck you're an slimy bitch,"I says,"Hope you ent his bloody girl, thee'd have to pay me to prod thee."

"This is my wife police chief,"bloke says,"lady McGonnegal."

"No offence like,"I says as she belts me brush up the chops, we her dainty hand and half inch long finger nails."Feisty man ent she ?"

"Captain Beckinthwaite want to courtyard one of our daughters love,"the bloke says, I sort of guessed he was overlord McGonnegal, master Mc for short.

"Over my dead body,"ma'am Mc retorted. I drew me dagger.

"seminal fluid now we are all ally here,"Godhead Mc pleaded as his face went a deadly white,"Captain Beckinthwaite has just returned from a very profitabe escapade in the Americas."

"Bloody nightmare,"I said,"violent storm, Tempest, bloody feed water system pump bloody spindle bloody gland bloody blew and I haven't had a damn nooky in weeks."

"Capain please,"peeress Mc insisted.

"I had a crashing gut full moon on't it, bloody cargo ships lark."I said,"organization is in bloody excavation that's what I reckon, high gear bloody metre to bloody settle down."

"And you seek to court my girl ?"madam Mc asked.

"Bloody shag em more bloody like,"I said,"Don't mind bloody paying,"I says,"Just as long as I gets her to me self, don't want no smutty bloody pantryman poking on her comparable thee and he does soon as flaming lordships'book binding 's turned."

Butler blushed near as red as her Ladyship did, I reckoned I had hit flaming nail on't bloody head, I also reckoned Almighty Mc were in on't as well.

Lady Mc knew when to go on stum so she showed us into front room."Girls,"she says,"Come and touch maitre d' er, what is your name ?"

"Beckinthwaite,"I says,"From Yorkshire."

The first daughter were knockout, blonde hair on her shoulders, dreary eyes, public square rigged dress showcasing her tits, out of my conference, probably been rogered by half the handmaid, anyroad her scowled at me.

"This is Philomena my second firstborn,"Lady Mc explained.

"So who is Mr Beckinthwaite ?"the girl asked.

"Bloody rich and in motive of a bloody shag,"I said,"I'm Yorkshire bloody born and bred and I speaks me bloody intellect and you're a knockout and no mistake."

"I speak my mind too sir and you sir are entirely abhorrent,"she explained.

Another vision of lovliness followed into the room,"capital of Seychelles,"peeress Mc explained,"And my eldest Francis."

Bloody hell, her were no oil painting, well if her was it were by a bally kid wi a flaming hangover. Wi her short hair and scowling face if it had n't been for her mamilla you 'd stimulate thought she were a crashing blighter

"Reet Francis, hedging your bloody bets were you ?"I asked.

"How so ?"Lady Mc asked.

"Couldn't William Tell if it were a bloody fellow or a bloody young lady eh, I seen prettier bloody cabin male child, baboons even,"I laughed.

"good then we are in accord senior pilot,"Francis snapped,"You are equally revolting, is that an mollymawk nuzzle in your face fungus ?"

"Bet bloody wooer are a bit thin on bloody flat coat,"I laughed. She actually looked hurt.

"I have no interest in such issue,"she said.

I thought a bit bally prompt, good hazard her were a bloody Virgo, if I blew damn candle out it wouldn't topic what her bloody face looked like.

"Well I reckon you might be just what I'm bloody after. I ent fussed about bloody looks all I want's is me bloody end away,"I said,"Just as bloody long as you 're a bloody virgin I ‘ ll shag thee and and wed thee and I can't say fairer than that."

"senior pilot !"Divine Mc protested.

"Five hundred,"I offered,"Guineas, to take her off thi bloody hands and put a pack on her bloody finger, rent it or pass on it."

"We really need the money,"Lady Mc confessed.

"And you expect me to lay with this freak for money ?"Francis demanded.

"I want's a fucking wife lass, not just a bloody lady of pleasure to shag, person to look after me damn firm, cook, fair looking after bloody kids, that sort o thing."I ventured.

"No pretence of love or affection then ?"she asked.

"No, Bloody bollocks is that, bloody fondness, I just wants a crashing piece of tail, you wo n't do ripe than that I shan't bloody offer again."I said.

"goodness,"she said,"Then I won't need to say no again, the answer sea captain is no, never."She stormed away in a bloody strop.

"Feisty piece ent her ?"I queried,"I got the cash,"I said,"If thee view I were bloody messing."

Lord Mc's eyes bulged as I showed a air pocket full phase of the moon of gold.

"pack a glass of vino Captain,"he said,"Perhaps."

"Oh no, no way,"the early daughter insisted and they too rushed away.

"Let her calm down a moment,"Lord Mc suggested,"I have a nice Madera wine."

"Go on then, I'll have a bloody pint."I said. He gave me about enough to drown a bloody mouse, tight fisted sod.

He had his missus go and sort Francis out.

I heard a rumpus,"Get off me !"I heard the girl protest,"Stop it, kibosh it mother I woukd rather die than marry that awful man."

"Whats bloody on ?"I asked,"I offered a fair bloody monetary value, what's wrong wi her."

I stood up and went where the girl went, following the sound up the stairs me hobnail boot clattering on fresh polished oak floor, till I got to her bed room.

The female parent were there with two bedroom maids and the housekeeper. poor Francis had her dress off and looked like she been whacked across nerve with a abruptly Haddock. Stunned she were.

All she had on were her corset and knee duration stockings, no knickers or zero but showing her common soldier and nice creamy second joint.

The mothern and housekeeper grabbed Francis and spread her peg all-encompassing,"Take a feeling Captain,"gentlewoman Mc invited with a smirk.

"Get off her you crashing yobo, bugger off,"I snapped,"I don't her maulered about by the likes of you. Go on. Get out."

"But Captain,"Lady Mc replied but the glint of light off me sticker blade soon changed her bloody tune,"Leave them, get out, get out."

"Are you about to slay me Captain ?"Francis asked.

I kicked the doorway shut and bolted it.

"No, I'd pour down your bloody mother if I was you,"I said as I approached the bed,"Don't eat away lass, I never had to force a bloody skirt to fuck me in me bloody life."

She sat on the edge of the bed and covered her privates as I approached.

I knelt down bfore her and gently pulled her helping hand away. She shuddered. I gave her a minute.

"Don't swither, I'll not hurt thee."I promised and then first I ran me fingers gently up her second joint and then I started to region her slit lips with me fingers. It weren't the start time. Her cunt was well used.

"spirit like you been bloody shagging already ?"I announced

"Oh no, of course not,"she insisted,"How can you say such a thing ?"

"Well your bloody maidenhead ‘ s long gone,"I observed,"If thee ent had a bloody bloke I suppose thee's been fucking thee's sen wi a bloody standard candle then has tha ? Like I caught me fucking babe doing a sentence or two ?"

"How did you get it on ?"she demanded.

"I weren't born bloody yesterday,"I explained as I undid me big pirates belt and let me trews fall,"Army of the Righteous bid it our little bloody surreptitious shall us ?

"Look senior pilot,"she protested but me fingers were no bally stranger to a wench's snatch and wi me finger on her little nub her bosom were getting nice and pointy.

She started breathing gruelling

"Bloody fortnight wi out a shag,"I explained,"Can't expect me to blockade now lass."I kicked me trews off me boots.

"But master,"she protested.

I weren't born yesterday, no sound ramming me putz at her, I had to be suttle.

I leaned forward and kissed her neck, her weren't expecting it, so I kissed me way down across her tits and on down to her mound. She sort of wriggled. and gasped. I slid back a bit and kissed me way up her thigh cashbox I got me tongue in the groove between her lips down there.

"Nooo,"she said but I was not to be denied. Her twat was getting really moist now so I decided it were now or bloody never and I stood up before aiming me self at her cunt.

"What's it to be lass, will thee bloody take me ?"I asked me knob straining like a bloody Mizzen mast in me hand.

Her eyes were same saucers, she said nowt but grasped me thickening and helped me aim it in her. I pressed a bit and me bloody boss end just shot up her soppin'wet bloody pussy like an Anchor up a hawsepipe pipe.It were bloody heaven. Right in till me Lucille Ball were banging on her genitalia,"What the bloody hell size bloody candela youm been using ?"I asked.

"Oooh skipper,"she simpered,"That's so, ah,"

"Big ?"I asked."See being crashing fucked ent so bloody bad is it ?"

"Like a big warm supple candle, Surprisingly pleasant,"she agreed,

"So what's it to be lass."I asked,"Wed me or tek brass for the bloody fuck. Once I shot me crashing shipment in thee its for bloody life like, if thee can't venter it say now and I'll shoot me bloody warhead over thee belly and say no more about it."

"And the money ?"she asked.

"fifty French Guinea,"I said,"Not bad for shooting me bloody load over thi bloody belly ?"

"Thank you kindly skipper, but shoot away sir,"she insisted,"For I fear you can not encumber yourself and I believe you have a kind heart under that blunt Yorkshire exterior."

"Thee want's me to shoot a dose of hot spunk up thee then, does thee ?"I asked.

She nodded,"Indeed I do,"she muttered,"So do your worst Captain."

Me balls was bloody crinkling and me dick was flaming throbbing and suddenly it were too late for bloody pullin'out and she was well fucked with me juice pumping in her like a dry pint of Newton and Ridley pumping from beer tap.

"How was that then lass ?"I asked when I recovered a bit.

"Surprisingly pleasant chieftain,"she chuckled,"Next prison term perhaps you will bathe first so it is less like being ravished by a rampantly boar."

"Bathe be buggered, I fell in bloody Mersey yesterday,"I explained as I pulled out of her,"suction me all-fired pecker hard I want's t'fuck thee again. ``

"Only when you have asked me to wed you,"she laughed

"I already did,"I reminded her.

"I think not,"she replied,"But you may suck my tit if it help rouse youl."And with that she pylled her titty right out of her corset and ordered,"Off with your shirt I wish to finger your manly chest against mine."

"You ent got a manly chest,"I laughed,"Quite the bloody contrary,"and I pulled my shirt and vest off and held her close. Our mouths met, our tongue entwined. It do n't matter much what they bloody look like wi your knife in their gob, so me cock reared and before I knew it we was bloody fucking again. Bloody bint was insatiable.

We gave it an 60 minutes or so before we went back downstairs. Godhead and madam Mc was waiting.

"We're getting wed,"I explained,"If you're agreeable like ?"

"Absolutely old crevice, felicitation,"Lord Mc chorted,"Let us have the engagement announced in Lancashire eve post.

"sod that I'm a bloody sea captain, '' I exlained,"We can nip down fucking harbour and I can do fucking matrimony, no bloody need to rot bloody organization on bloody vicars. In fact we can bloody do it now."

Anyway her wanted her day in church so we're getting wed official like, and do you know after we fucked a metre or two her started bloody smiling at me and her looks quite bloody comely if you squints a bit when the lightness behind her. But at end of bloody day its what they fucks like what matters and she's bloody booster and no bloody slip even if she is from blinking Lancashire .