police captain Beckinthwaite 's Bride.

I 'm chieftain Thomas bloody Beckinthwaite, from bloody Yorkshire and I do n't give a sodomite what you bloody cerebrate because I bloody verbalise as I bloody find oneself.

We had a bloody bad trip back from U.S.A. on Steamship and when we got back to Liverpool I made sure me establishment were safe and went to see bloody broker first thing.

I went in his office.It stunk like a woman of the street boudoir with trappings to pair. Agent were a Slimy bastard with slicked down hair and poncy suit. He sat behind this over polished bloody oakwood bloody desk about the size of a bloody cricket wicket the useless bastard.

"Good day Captain, I am delighted to run into you at last,"he simpered wi'out standing up.

"No thee bloody ent,"I said,"Thee jus wants me brass,"I answered him,"I'm from bloody Yorksire and I speaks me blinking brain,"I explained to the ignorant Lancashire twat.

"Er, yes, the administration,"he said awkwardly.

"Ton and a half of it,"I said,"Dubloons, pieces of eight, that sort of brass."

"We thought you think of administration,"his assistant chipped in. She was like a short hairy gorilla in a black garb with a gob like a bulldog chewing a wasp.

"boldness, Money,"I said,"Bloody simple enough even for you bloody ignorant Lanky sodomite ent it ?"

"organization is an alloy of bull and Tin,"she ventured.

"Clever bitch eh, need to be with a gob like yours,"I advised, `` Ent going to get far wi your bloody looks and that 's a bloody fact ..

"How much were you asking ?"the slimy one asked.

I told him, showed him chit for it.

"Yes we will pay the asking toll,"the slimy bastard said rooking me,"The cheque please Miss Rathbone."and they give me it and it were done.

I nipped round cant and paid it in quick. Daft prick on tabulator near fainted at size of cheque but I drew out a fair few quid and went about me business.

15 bloody days voyage took, bloody steamship broke down on the way but at last I had some nerve in bank and could come place instead of scratting stave down S America way meking a bob or two here an there.

I went to see Harbour sea captain what were a checkmate of mine, we had a schmooze for a few minutes then I asked"Where's slave market, I fancies a nice plump fresh brown one."

"By heck you been away a bloody while,"he said,"Thee casn't have slave in England any more."

"You what ?"I demanded.

"Nay,"He said,"They banned slave'ry back in thirty three and anyroad toff got fed up wi novelty an let most of ‘ em go free."

"Bloody heck,"I said,"Where the bloody Scheol do I find a gracious plump Virgo the Virgin for tonight ?"

"Tonight, Thee'll be flaming favourable to find one in Salford at all, thee'll have to get hitched with a nob lad !"he laughed.

I had a think. Go without, risk whore business firm or marry a nob. Marrying a nob seemed best idea.

I had a think and thought nobs hung out at Queens Hotel so that's where I went, they had Dinner computer menu outside. and it were just after noon so I thought I would induce a bit to eat. Now I ent thick or nowt but I couldn't make heading or tail o menu so I thought I woud ask waiter. Turns out they has dinner at tea prison term and noon time was Luncheon. Anyroad I had a feed.

Manager come up to me and asked me line of work,"Looking for a nob to marry,"I said,"Posh bint like, got to be pure mind."

He got wrong end of stick and suggested a couple of bawd houses.

"Nay I want a woman for keeps see, If I pay out a fair bit and keeps her bloody chained up I have a nasset see, not keep forking out for tarts till I gets all-fired gonorrhea and me cock rots off."

"You can't keep slave anymore, but there's a chap round Inkerman Street does a smashing range of chastity knock,"he suggested,"Actually, tween thee and me, that noble wi his backrest to us over there's got Thomas More daughters than you can stimulate a marijuana cigarette at, why not nominate him an offer ?"

I looked, some poncy old codger talking to his mates over a sliver of Fish and drop o wine that woudn't sustain a blooming church service mouse.

"That's handy,"I said giving him a big tip and I sauntered across.

"I hear you got a couple of girl to unload like ?"I says consecutive out.

"And who the hell are you sir ?"he snapped as he stood to face up me,"Have you no decorum."

"What's bally decorum,"I says,"I ent no house painter I'm bloody maitre d'hotel bloody Beckinthwaite from bloody Yorkshire and I speaks me fucking mind."

His poncy nob mates was pissing they selves laughing at me,"smell if its bloody governing body you want I'll pay top clam, long as she's Virgin, two legs, two blazonry, couple of bloody mamilla, her own teeth, hearing and seeing would be a bonus but long as she can perform in bloody bed I ent that bloody fussed."

"I say George,"one of his match, a simpering arse dressed like a rightfield ponce says,"You might well marry off your Emily if you play your scorecard right."

"I ent playing no bloody card game,"I said,"Hard John Cash, I knows too many bloody bill of fare sharps."

"I have never been so diss sir,"he says, but his mate grabbed his arm.

"George, think, he'll pay,"this chap said,"Instead of a demanding a dowry he'll pay you, you know you need the wonga.

"Ah,"he said,"I understand you now, why not come to my house directly and conform to my daughter ?"

His poncy married person warned him not to appear too keen but as soon as I said I'd pay their tab he agreed.

The bloke lived a Admiralty mile or so from hotel, so we hailed a cab. His topographic point needed a lick of paint and the pantryman's crownwork had seen better days.

"Shall I show the, er, Gentleman, to the servants quarters,"bloody sarky Samuel Butler smirked.

"No he is a guest, Mr '' the bloke explained

"skipper Beckintwaite,"I said,"I'm from bloody Yorkshire and verbalize me bloody mind. Know thee's bloody stead or thee'll feel me damn belt cross thee bloody ass."

"I beg your pardon,"he said all sarky like,"Sir."

Bloody womanhood turns up,"By heck you're an unworthy bitch,"I says,"Hope you ent his bloody girl, thee'd have to pay me to poke thee."

"This is my wife Captain,"bloke says,"Lady McGonnegal."

"No offence like,"I says as she belts me labialise the chop shot, we her dainty hand and half inch long finger nails."Feisty patch ent she ?"

"maitre d'hotel Beckinthwaite wishes to tribunal one of our daughters dearest,"the bloke says, I sort of guessed he was master McGonnegal, Creator Mc for short.

"Over my deadened body,"lady Mc retorted. I drew me dagger.

"Come now we are all protagonist here,"Creator Mc pleaded as his face went a deathly Edward D. White,"captain Beckinthwaite has just returned from a very profitabe adventure in the Americas."

"Bloody nightmare,"I said,"Storms, Tempest, bloody tip water pump bloody mandrel bloody gland bloody blew and I haven't had a bally fucking in weeks."

"Capain please,"ma'am Mc insisted.

"I had a flaming gut full on't it, bloody Shipping lark."I said,"organisation is in bloody mining that's what I reckon, high bloody time to bloody settle down."

"And you seek to court my daughter ?"lady Mc asked.

"Bloody shag em more damn like,"I said,"Don't mind bloody paying,"I says,"Just as long as I gets her to me self, don't want no filthy bloody butlers poking on her like thee and he does soon as bloody lordship'back 's turned."

Butler blushed near as red as her Ladyship did, I reckoned I had hit blooming nail on't bloody head, I also reckoned nobleman Mc were in on't as well.

Lady Mc knew when to hold open stum so she showed us into parlour."girl,"she says,"Come and get together Captain er, what is your public figure ?"

"Beckinthwaite,"I says,"From Yorkshire."

The kickoff girl were knockout, blonde haircloth on her shoulders, blue eyes, square toes rigged dress showcasing her breast, out of my league, probably been rogered by half the handmaid, anyroad her scowled at me.

"This is Philomena my mo firstborn,"Lady Mc explained.

"So who is Mr Beckinthwaite ?"the missy asked.

"Bloody rich and in need of a bloody shag,"I said,"I'm Yorkshire bloody born and bred and I speaks me blooming mind and you're a kayo and no mistake."

"I speak my head too sir and you sir are entirely repulsive,"she explained.

Another vision of lovliness followed into the room,"Victoria,"Lady Mc explained,"And my eldest Francis."

Bloody Inferno, her were no oil painting, well if her was it were by a bally kid wi a flaming hangover. Wi her short hair and scowling typeface if it had n't been for her tits you 'd have thought she were a bloody bloke

"Reet Francis, hedging your bloody bet were you ?"I asked.

"How so ?"Lady Mc asked.

"Couldn't Tell if it were a fucking feller or a damn girl eh, I seen prettier bloody cabin boys, baboons even,"I laughed.

"Good then we are in accordance skipper,"Francis snapped,"You are equally revolting, is that an Albatross cuddle in your whiskers ?"

"Bet bloody suitors are a bit thin on bloody footing,"I laughed. She actually looked hurt.

"I have no interest in such matters,"she said.

I thought a bit bloody flying, good hazard her were a bloody virgin, if I blew crashing candle out it wouldn't matter what her flaming face looked like.

"Well I reckon you might be just what I'm bloody after. I ent fussed about bloody looks all I want's is me flaming end away,"I said,"Just as bloody long as you 're a blinking virgin I ‘ ll roll in the hay thee and and wed thee and I can't say fairer than that."

"Captain !"Lord Mc protested.

"cinque hundred,"I offered,"Guineas, to film her off thi bloody hands and put a mob on her bloody fingerbreadth, learn it or leave it."

"We really need the money,"madam Mc confessed.

"And you expect me to lay with this freak for money ?"Francis demanded.

"I want's a bally married woman jeune fille, not just a blinking fancy woman to shag, someone to reckon after me bloody house, cook, clean spirit after bloody Kyd, that sort o thing."I ventured.

"No pretence of honey or warmness then ?"she asked.

"No, Bloody bollocks is that, bloody affection, I just wants a bally shag, you wo n't do better than that I shan't bloody offer again."I said.

"Good,"she said,"Then I won't need to say no again, the solution senior pilot is no, never."She stormed away in a all-fired strop.

"Feisty slice ent her ?"I queried,"I got the cash,"I said,"If thee thought I were bloody messing."

noble Mc's eyes bulged as I showed a pocket full phase of the moon of gold.

"Take a Methedrine of wine-coloured Captain,"he said,"Perhaps."

"Oh no, no way,"the early girl insisted and they too rushed away.

"Let her quiet down a moment,"Lord Mc suggested,"I have a squeamish Madera wine."

"Go on then, I'll have a bloody pint."I said. He gave me about adequate to drown a bloody mouse, tight fisted sod.

He had his missus go and sort Francis out.

I heard a ruckus,"Get off me !"I heard the girl dissent,"Stop it, blockade it mother I woukd rather die than marry that dreadful man."

"Whats bloody on ?"I asked,"I offered a comely bloody damage, what's unseasonable wi her."

I stood up and went where the girl went, following the sound up the stair me hobnail flush clattering on sweet polished oak floors, till I got to her bed room.

The female parent were there with two chamber maidservant and the housekeeper. poor people Francis had her attire off and looked like she been whacked across font with a numb Haddock. Stunned she were.

All she had on were her stays and knee length stockings, no knickers or nothing but showing her privates and nice creamy second joint.

The mothern and housekeeper grabbed Francis and spread her peg broad,"Take a looking at master,"Lady Mc invited with a smirk.

"Get off her you crashing hooligan, sodomise off,"I snapped,"I don't her maulered about by the ilk of you. Go on. Get out."

"But Captain,"Lady Mc replied but the flicker of visible radiation off me dagger blade soon changed her bloody line,"Leave them, get out, get out."

"Are you about to murder me Captain ?"Francis asked.

I kicked the doorway shut and bolted it.

"No, I'd vote out your bloody mother if I was you,"I said as I approached the bed,"Don't erode young girl, I never had to pressure a bloody wench to make love me in me bloody life."

She sat on the boundary of the bed and covered her privates as I approached.

I knelt down bfore her and gently pulled her hand away. She shuddered. I gave her a minute.

"Don't lather, I'll not hurt thee."I promised and then first I ran me digit gently up her thighs and then I started to parting her cunt lips with me fingers. It weren't the first clip. Her slit was well used.

"aspect like you been bloody shagging already ?"I announced

"Oh no, of course not,"she insisted,"How can you say such a thing ?"

"wellspring your bloody hymen ‘ s long gone,"I observed,"If thee ent had a bloody bloke I suppose thee's been fucking thee's sen wi a bloody Candle then has tha ? Like I caught me bloody babe doing a time or two ?"

"How did you make love ?"she demanded.

"I weren't born bloody yesterday,"I explained as I undid me big pirates belt and let me trews downfall,"Lets call off it our niggling bloody secret shall us ?

"face Captain,"she protested but me fingerbreadth were no bloody strangers to a bird's twat and wi me thumb on her small nub her boob were getting nice and pointy.

She started breathing heavy

"Bloody fortnight wi out a shag,"I explained,"Can't anticipate me to stop now lass."I kicked me trews off me boots.

"But chieftain,"she protested.

I weren't born yesterday, no good ramming me rooster at her, I had to be suttle.

I leaned forward and kissed her neck, her weren't expecting it, so I kissed me way down across her pap and on down to her mound. She sorting of wriggled. and gasped. I slid back a bit and kissed me way up her thigh till I got me tongue in the groove between her lips down there.

"Nooo,"she said but I was not to be denied. Her cunt was getting really moist now so I decided it were now or bally never and I stood up before aiming me ego at her cunt.

"What's it to be lass, will thee bloody involve me ?"I asked me knob straining like a bloody Mizzen mast in me hand.

Her eyes were like saucers, she said nowt but grasped me knob and helped me aim it in her. I pressed a bit and me bloody boss end just shot up her soppin'wet bloody cunt like an ground tackle up a hawsepipe pipe.It were bloody heaven. Right in trough me ball were banging on her crotch,"What the bloody hell size bloody candle youm been using ?"I asked.

"Oooh Captain,"she simpered,"That's so, ah,"

"Big ?"I asked."See being bloody fucked ent so bloody bad is it ?"

"Like a big warm supple wax light, Surprisingly pleasant,"she agreed,

"So what's it to be lass."I asked,"Wed me or tek nerve for the bloody nookie. Once I shot me bloody load in thee its for bloody life story like, if thee can't stomach it say now and I'll shoot me bloody lode over thee belly and say no more about it."

"And the money ?"she asked.

"Fifty guinea,"I said,"Not bad for shooting me bloody load over thi bloody belly ?"

"Thank you kindly Captain, but shoot away sir,"she insisted,"For I fear you can not restrain yourself and I believe you have a kind heart under that blunt Yorkshire exterior."

"Thee want's me to shoot a dot of hot spunk up thee then, does thee ?"I asked.

She nodded,"Indeed I do,"she muttered,"So do your high-risk Captain."

Me balls was damn crinkling and me cock was bloody throb and suddenly it were too later for bloody pullin'out and she was well fucked with me juice pumping in her like a pint of Sir Isaac Newton and Ridley pumping from beer tap.

"How was that then lass ?"I asked when I recovered a bit.

"Surprisingly pleasant Captain,"she chuckled,"Next clip perhaps you will bathe first so it is less like being ravished by a wild boar."

"Bathe be buggered, I fell in bloody Mersey yesterday,"I explained as I pulled out of her,"Suck me bloody peter voiceless I want's t'fuck thee again. ``

"Only when you have asked me to wed you,"she laughed

"I already did,"I reminded her.

"I think not,"she replied,"But you may suck my teat if it help excite youl."And with that she pylled her tits right out of her corset and ordered,"Off with your shirt I wish to feel your manly dresser against mine."

"You ent got a manly chest,"I laughed,"Quite the bloody opposite,"and I pulled my shirt and robe off and held her close. Our mouths met, our tongues entwined. It do n't matter much what they bloody look like wi your glossa in their gob, so me stopcock reared and before I knew it we was bloody fucking again. Bloody bint was insatiable.

We gave it an 60 minutes or so before we went back downstairs. Lord and Lady Mc was waiting.

"We're getting wed,"I explained,"If you're concordant like ?"

"Absolutely old chap, congratulation,"Almighty Mc chorted,"Let us have the appointment announced in Lancashire evening post.

"sod that I'm a crashing sea skipper, '' I exlained,"We can nip down bloody harbour and I can do bloody marriage, no blooming pauperization to lay waste to bloody brass on bloody vicars. In fact we can bloody do it now."

Anyway her wanted her day in Christian church so we're getting wed prescribed like, and do you know after we fucked a time or two her started bloody smiling at me and her smell quite bloody comely if you squints a bit when the lights behind her. But at end of bloody day its what they fucks like what affair and she's all-fired superstar and no damn mistake even if she is from fucking Lancashire .