Captain Beckinthwaite 's Bride.

I 'm senior pilot Thomas bloody Beckinthwaite, from bloody Yorkshire and I do n't hold a sodomist what you bloody cerebrate because I bloody address as I bloody find.

We had a bloody bad trip back from US on steamship and when we got back to Liverpool I made sure me memorial tablet were safe and went to see bloody Agent first thing.

I went in his office.It stunk like a sporting lady boudoir with furnishing to agree. Agent were a Slimy bastard with slicked down fuzz and poncy suit. He sat behind this over polished bloody oakwood bloody desk about the size of a bloody cricket wicket the useless bastard.

"Good day headwaiter, I am delighted to meet you at last,"he simpered wi'out standing up.

"No thee bloody ent,"I said,"Thee jus wants me brass section,"I answered him,"I'm from bloody Yorksire and I speaks me bloody mind,"I explained to the unlearned Lancashire twat.

"Er, yes, the brass,"he said awkwardly.

"Ton and a half of it,"I said,"Dubloons, firearm of eight, that sort of brass."

"We thought you signify Brass,"his assistant chipped in. She was like a short haired gorilla in a black wearing apparel with a gob like a bulldog chewing a wasp.

"Brass, Money,"I said,"Bloody simple enough even for you bloody unlettered Lanky bugger ent it ?"

"Brass is an metal of pig and Tin,"she ventured.

"Clever bitch eh, need to be with a gob like yours,"I advised, `` Ent going to get far wi your bloody looks and that 's a fucking fact ..

"How much were you asking ?"the slimy one asked.

I told him, showed him chit for it.

"Yes we will pay the asking price,"the slimy SOB said rooking me,"The cheque please girl Rathbone."and they give me it and it were done.

I nipped round out bank and paid it in quickly. Daft bastard on tabulator near fainted at size of cheque but I drew out a middling few quid and went about me business.

fifteen bloody days ocean trip took, bally steamship broke down on the way but at final I had some organisation in bank and could come household instead of scratting round down South U.S. way meking a bob or two here an there.

I went to see seaport master copy what were a mate of mine, we had a confabulation for a few minutes then I asked"Where's slave market, I fancies a prissy plump fresh brown one."

"By heck you been away a bloody while,"he said,"Thee casn't have slaves in England any more."

"You what ?"I demanded.

"Nay,"He said,"They banned slave'ry back in thirty three and anyroad nob got fed up wi novelty an let near of ‘ em go free."

"Bloody heck,"I said,"Where the bloody sin do I determine a prissy plump virgin for tonight ?"

"Tonight, Thee'll be bloody lucky to notice one in Salford at all, thee'll have to hook up with a nob lad !"he laughed.

I had a think. Go without, risk whore house or wed a nob. Marrying a nob seemed outdo idea.

I had a think and thought nobs hung out at world-beater Hotel so that's where I went, they had Dinner menu outside. and it were just after noon so I thought I would let a collation to eat. Now I ent thick or nowt but I couldn't make headland or tail o card so I thought I woud ask waiter. Turns out they has dinner at tea metre and noon fourth dimension was Luncheon. Anyroad I had a feed.

managing director come up to me and asked me business organisation,"looking for for a nob to get married,"I said,"Posh bint like, got to be pure mind."

He got wrong end of stick and suggested a duad of cyprian sign.

"Nay I want a woman for livelihood see, If I pay out a clean bit and keeps her bloody chained up I have a nasset see, not keep back forking out for cocotte public treasury I gets bloody clap and me cock decomposition off."

"You can't keep slaves anymore, but there's a cuss round Inkerman Street does a smashing range of chastity belts,"he suggested,"Actually, tween thee and me, that Maker wi his vertebral column to us over there's got more daughters than you can shake up a joystick at, why not seduce him an offer ?"

I looked, some poncy old codger talking to his mates over a sliver of Pisces and drop o wine that woudn't sustain a flaming church service mouse.

"That's handy,"I said giving him a big tip and I sauntered across.

"I hear you got a duo of daughters to offload like ?"I says straight out.

"And who the the pits are you sir ?"he snapped as he stood to face me,"Have you no decorum."

"What's damn decorum,"I says,"I ent no home cougar I'm bloody Captain bloody Beckinthwaite from bloody Yorkshire and I speaks me damn mind."

His poncy nob mates was pissing they selves laughing at me,"facial expression if its bloody plaque you want I'll pay top dollar bill, long as she's Virgin, two stage, two weapon system, couple of bloody tits, her own dentition, audience and seeing would be a bonus but long as she can execute in bloody bed I ent that bloody fussed."

"I say George,"one of his Paraguay tea, a simpering prat dressed like a right ponce says,"You might well marry off your Emily if you play your add-in right."

"I ent playing no bloody cards,"I said,"Hard cash, I knows too many bloody card sharps."

"I have never been so affront sir,"he says, but his Ilex paraguariensis grabbed his arm.

"George, think, he'll pay,"this crack said,"Instead of a demanding a dowry he'll pay you, you know you need the wonga.

"Ah,"he said,"I understand you now, why not come to my house directly and meet my daughters ?"

His poncy mate warned him not to seem too bully but as soon as I said I'd pay their tab he agreed.

The fella lived a knot or so from hotel, so we hailed a cab. His piazza needed a lick of paint and the Samuel Butler's jacket had seen better days.

"Shall I show the, er, valet de chambre, to the handmaiden poop,"bloody sarky Butler smirked.

"No he is a guest, Mr '' the gent explained

"maitre d' Beckintwaite,"I said,"I'm from bloody Yorkshire and speaks me crashing mind. Know thee's bloody post or thee'll experience me crashing belt crisscross thee bloody ass."

"I beg your free pardon,"he said all sarky like,"Sir."

Bloody woman turns up,"By heck you're an worthless cunt,"I says,"Hope you ent his bloody girl, thee'd have to pay me to poke thee."

"This is my wife headwaiter,"bloke says,"ma'am McGonnegal."

"No offence like,"I says as she belts me round the chops, we her exquisite hand and half inch long finger nails."Feisty objet d'art ent she ?"

"headwaiter Beckinthwaite wishes to motor inn one of our daughters heartfelt,"the bloke says, I sort of guessed he was nobleman McGonnegal, Lord Mc for short.

"Over my idle soundbox,"ma'am Mc retorted. I drew me dagger.

"seminal fluid now we are all friends here,"Lord Mc pleaded as his expression went a deathly ashen,"skipper Beckinthwaite has just returned from a very profitabe escapade in the Americas."

"Bloody incubus,"I said,"storm, tempest, bloody fertilise water pump bloody spindle bloody gland bloody blew and I haven't had a flaming roll in the hay in weeks."

"Capain please,"Lady Mc insisted.

"I had a bloody gut full on't it, bloody merchant vessels lark."I said,"Brass is in bloody mining that's what I reckon, richly bloody time to bloody settle down."

"And you seek to court of law my daughter ?"Lady Mc asked.

"Bloody shag em more bloody like,"I said,"Don't mind bloody paying,"I says,"Just as long as I gets her to me self, don't want no filthy bloody Samuel Butler poking on her wish thee and he does soon as bally lordships'backrest 's turned."

Butler blushed near as red as her Ladyship did, I reckoned I had hit bloody nail on't bloody head, I also reckoned Maker Mc were in on't as well.

ma'am Mc knew when to keep stum so she showed us into parlour."miss,"she says,"ejaculate and fill police chief er, what is your name ?"

"Beckinthwaite,"I says,"From Yorkshire."

The first little girl were knockout, blonde hairsbreadth on her shoulders, dingy oculus, second power rigged frock showcasing her titty, out of my league, probably been rogered by half the servants, anyroad her scowled at me.

"This is Philomena my endorse eldest,"Lady Mc explained.

"So who is Mr Beckinthwaite ?"the lady friend asked.

"Bloody full-bodied and in need of a blinking ass,"I said,"I'm Yorkshire bloody born and bred and I speaks me bloody creative thinker and you're a knockout and no mistake."

"I speak my idea too sir and you sir are entirely repugnant,"she explained.

Another sight of lovliness followed into the elbow room,"Victoria,"Lady Mc explained,"And my firstborn Francis."

Bloody hell, her were no oil painting, well if her was it were by a blooming kid wi a bloody hangover. Wi her unforesightful hair and scowling boldness if it had n't been for her mamilla you 'd get thought she were a bloody bloke

"Reet Francis, hedging your bloody stakes were you ?"I asked.

"How so ?"Lady Mc asked.

"Couldn't tell if it were a all-fired fellow or a bloody young lady eh, I seen prettier bloody cabin son, baboons even,"I laughed.

"good then we are in agreement skipper,"Francis snapped,"You are equally revolting, is that an Albatross nest in your beard ?"

"Bet bloody suitors are a bit thin on bloody terra firma,"I laughed. She actually looked hurt.

"I have no pursuit in such topic,"she said.

I thought a bit bloody quick, right fortune her were a bloody virgin, if I blew bloody candle out it wouldn't matter what her damn case looked like.

"fountainhead I reckon you might be just what I'm bloody after. I ent fussed about bloody looks all I want's is me bloody end away,"I said,"Just as bloody long as you 're a fucking virgin I ‘ ll shag thee and and wed thee and I can't say fairer than that."

"chieftain !"Lord Mc protested.

"quintet hundred,"I offered,"wop, to take her off thi bloody hands and put a ring on her bloody finger's breadth, aim it or leave it."

"We really necessitate the money,"Lady Mc confessed.

"And you expect me to lay with this monster for money ?"Francis demanded.

"I want's a flaming wife lass, not just a fucking cyprian to shag, someone to calculate after me bloody house, cook, cleanse look after crashing Kyd, that kind o thing."I ventured.

"No pretence of love or tenderness then ?"she asked.

"No, Bloody bollocks is that, blooming heart, I just wants a all-fired shag, you wo n't do adept than that I shan't bloody offer again."I said.

"Good,"she said,"Then I won't need to say no again, the answer captain is no, never."She stormed away in a bloody strop.

"Feisty piece ent her ?"I queried,"I got the cash,"I said,"If thee thought I were crashing messing."

Almighty Mc's eyes bulged as I showed a scoop full of gold.

"assume a field glass of wine Captain,"he said,"Perhaps."

"Oh no, no way,"the other girl insisted and they too rushed away.

"Let her tranquillise down a moment,"Lord Mc suggested,"I have a nice Madera wine."

"Go on then, I'll have a bloody pint."I said. He gave me about sufficiency to drown a bloody computer mouse, tight fisted sod.

He had his missus go and sort Francis out.

I heard a rumpus,"Get off me !"I heard the daughter protest,"halt it, contain it mother I woukd rather die than marry that awful man."

"Whats bloody on ?"I asked,"I offered a middling bloody Mary Leontyne Price, what's haywire wi her."

I stood up and went where the girl went, following the sound up the stairs me hobnail boots clattering on fresh smoothen oak floor, money box I got to her bed room.

The mother were there with two bedchamber amah and the housekeeper. poor people Francis had her dress off and looked like she been whacked across face with a numb haddock. Stunned she were.

All she had on were her corset and knee duration stockings, no knickers or nothing but showing her privates and nice creamy thigh.

The mothern and housekeeper grabbed Francis and spread her pegleg blanket,"Take a looking police captain,"Lady Mc invited with a smirk.

"Get off her you bloody bullies, bugger off,"I snapped,"I don't her maulered about by the like of you. Go on. Get out."

"But Captain,"madam Mc replied but the glint of light off me obelisk blade soon changed her bloody tune,"leave-taking them, get out, get out."

"Are you about to dispatch me Captain ?"Francis asked.

I kicked the door shut and bolted it.

"No, I'd drink down your bloody mother if I was you,"I said as I approached the bed,"Don't fret lass, I never had to force a bloody wench to eff me in me all-fired life."

She sat on the edge of the bed and covered her genitals as I approached.

I knelt down bfore her and gently pulled her script away. She shuddered. I gave her a minute.

"Don't lather, I'll not hurt thee."I promised and then first I ran me digit gently up her second joint and then I started to part her snatch backtalk with me digit. It weren't the maiden time. Her cunt was well used.

"spirit like you been bloody shagging already ?"I announced

"Oh no, of line not,"she insisted,"How can you say such a affair ?"

"Well your bloody virginal membrane ‘ s long gone,"I observed,"If thee ent had a bally feller I suppose thee's been fucking thee's sen wi a bloody wax light then has tha ? Like I caught me bloody Sister doing a sentence or two ?"

"How did you get laid ?"she demanded.

"I weren't born bloody yesterday,"I explained as I undid me big plagiarizer belt and let me trews fall,"Lets shout out it our fiddling bloody secret shall us ?

"Look chieftain,"she protested but me digit were no bloody stranger to a wench's cunt and wi me leaf on her trivial nub her breast were getting dainty and pointy.

She started breathing heavy

"Bloody fortnight wi out a nooky,"I explained,"Can't expect me to discontinue now lass."I kicked me trews off me boots.

"But master,"she protested.

I weren't born yesterday, no in effect ramming me tool at her, I had to be suttle.

I leaned forward and kissed her neck, her weren't expecting it, so I kissed me way down across her tits and on down to her pitcher. She sorting of wriggled. and gasped. I slid back a bit and kissed me way up her thigh till I got me clapper in the rut between her sassing down there.

"Nooo,"she said but I was not to be denied. Her twat was getting really moist now so I decided it were now or all-fired never and I stood up before aiming me ego at her cunt.

"What's it to be lass, will thee bloody take me ?"I asked me knob straining like a bloody Mizzen mast in me hand.

Her eyes were like disc, she said nowt but grasped me pommel and helped me aim it in her. I pressed a bit and me bloody knob end just shot up her soppin'wet bloody cunt like an anchorperson up a hawse pipe.It were bloody heaven. Right in till me balls were banging on her crotch,"What the bloody hell size bloody candle youm been using ?"I asked.

"Oooh headwaiter,"she simpered,"That's so, ah,"

"Big ?"I asked."See being crashing fucked ent so bloody bad is it ?"

"Like a big warm supple standard candle, Surprisingly pleasant,"she agreed,

"So what's it to be lass."I asked,"Wed me or tek brass section for the bloody shag. Once I shot me bloody burden in thee its for crashing life like, if thee can't venter it say now and I'll shoot me bloody load over thee belly and say no more than about it."

"And the money ?"she asked.

"fifty guineas,"I said,"Not bad for shooting me blinking encumbrance over thi bloody belly ?"

"Thank you kindly Captain, but shoot away sir,"she insisted,"For I fear you can not restrain yourself and I believe you have a form heart under that blunt Yorkshire exterior."

"Thee want's me to hit a window pane of hot mettle up thee then, does thee ?"I asked.

She nodded,"Indeed I do,"she muttered,"So do your speculative Captain."

Me balls was bally crinkling and me cock was bloody pounding and suddenly it were too later for blooming pullin'out and she was well fucked with me juice pumping in her like a pint of Isaac Newton and Ridley pumping from beer tap.

"How was that then lass ?"I asked when I recovered a bit.

"Surprisingly pleasant Captain,"she chuckled,"Next time perhaps you will bathe first so it is less like being ravished by a wild boar."

"Bathe be buggered, I fell in bloody Mersey yesterday,"I explained as I pulled out of her,"suction me bloody prick strong I want's t'fuck thee again. ``

"Only when you have asked me to wed you,"she laughed

"I already did,"I reminded her.

"I think not,"she replied,"But you may give suck my teats if it help rouse youl."And with that she pylled her knocker right out of her stays and ordered,"Off with your shirt I wish to feel your manly bureau against mine."

"You ent got a manly chest,"I laughed,"Quite the bloody opposite,"and I pulled my shirt and invest off and held her end. Our mouthpiece met, our lingua entwined. It do n't count much what they bloody look like wi your tongue in their gob, so me cock reared and before I knew it we was flaming screwing again. Bloody bint was insatiable.

We gave it an hour or so before we went back downstairs. God Almighty and ma'am Mc was waiting.

"We're getting wed,"I explained,"If you're agreeable like ?"

"Absolutely old cuss, congratulation,"Creator Mc chorted,"Let us have the fight announced in Lancashire even post.

"Bugger that I'm a crashing sea police chief, '' I exlained,"We can nip down bally seaport and I can do bloody married couple, no flaming motivation to waste damn brass instrument on bloody vicars. In fact we can bloody do it now."

Anyway her wanted her day in Christian church so we're getting wed official like, and do you sleep with after we fucked a time or two her started bloody smiling at me and her looking quite bloody comely if you squints a bit when the lights behind her. But at end of bally day its what they fucks like what issue and she's blooming supporter and no blinking slip even if she is from flaming Lancashire .